Memorials, Honors, and Ceremonies: Lessons and Rituals

Memorials, Honors, and Ceremonies

As Chelsea and I are taking Rowen to many of his “firsts” such as Aggie sports events and other special ceremonies, I’ve found myself thinking more about when my parents first taught me about etiquette and rituals as special occasions and memorials. As we have been going through this for the last year particularly do I have a much greater appreciation for all the planning and teaching that goes on before a child reaches kindergarten classes.

Quick self-test—what is the one thing each of these events or occasions has in common—memorials, honors, and ceremonies? Pause for 120 seconds and the answer should come to mind.

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If it didn’t, perhaps it is because the clearest answer within arm’s reach seems to be the farthest away. Close your eyes and envision what’s happening. Something beautiful, special in that it tends to happen only once (a year at least if not just once forever). There’s a United States flag present at each of these occasions.

Consider a military burial. Among the ceremonial rituals is the folding and presentation of the flag that is traditionally draped across the coffin during the service. Two soldiers approach the coffin, pay their own respects, and proceed to carry out the flag folding with such dignity and respect that it’s not unusual to find a lump in your throat, holding back the tears at the beauty of the honor of the U.S. flag and how the service person is held in regard and esteem for their gift of time to our country.

Friday, June 14, was Flag Day, and while it may have been a while since your elementary school U.S. history class, the day was chosen for the day in 1777 where a single flag, then called the “Stars and Stripes” was chosen as the unified choice for the country rather than each state having its own signature flag. This event was on the occasion of the Second Continental Congress, so it was a key aspect of the formation of our country and what are now considered traditional values.

The Veterans Affairs Bureau notes that the Stars and Stripes…”was first carried into battle on September 11, 1777, in the Battle of Brandywine.”

As children, if we remember only one fact the teacher told us, it is likely the flag is never to touch the ground, but despite the myth that if it does actually touch the ground, it needs to be destroyed. That’s not the case but there is a relevant list/code of what is and is not appropriate for our flag, prepared by the American Legion:

• Only fly the flag in inclement weather if your flag is made of all-weather material.
• Fly the flag at half staff out of respect in the event of the passing of an individual held in honor or esteem, such as in the Executive Branch of the federal government or high-ranking member of the state government.
• Disposing of a flag is to be conducted by the American Legion; individuals are not to toss them away independently. For local information, you can always bring your deteriorated flag to us at our Callaway-Jones Funeral Center, and we will get it to the American Legion for you. For more information, read our resource online here. We will present you with an official flag retirement certificate and a custom commemorative coin for your family to know of your patriotic disposal.
• Flags can be flown at night, only if there is sufficient light around it to be seen clearly by everyone. Think about the large American flag by the Allen Honda dealership that is distinct in its appearance 24 hours per day. One is not to just leave the flag out overnight without proper lighting.
• Outside a business or office building, there are rules for which flags to fly, left to right, when facing them. As you drive around town, you’ll see numerous flags (U.S., Texas, other organizations, etc.) displayed together, such as outside banks. The first is the U.S. flag, next is the state, the city or county/municipality, the POW/MIA flag, the military branch flag, and finally, the American Legion flag. These are the rules for businesses with separate flagpoles. For offices with one flagpole, as long as the U.S. flag is the largest, and the first flag flown at the very top of the pole, several flags can be placed on the same pole.

Children learn flag etiquette in kindergarten and first grade, but often by the time they reach adulthood, they’ve forgotten the traditionally accepted rules.

If you’re not wearing a military uniform, men are to remove their hats and place them in their left hand, with their right hand over their hearts (with similar solemnity to prayer), and women have the option of keeping formal headwear on but more frequently will remove “gimme caps” and cowboy hats during the national anthem.

A salute is appropriate to offer if men and women are in military uniform at the time. Otherwise, the hand over the heart is sufficient to show respect.

On Flag Day our community was again blessed to have volunteers placing U.S. flags on display just as they do several times a year, and then to return at day’s end to retrieve them until the next occasion for our July 4^th holiday in three weeks’ time. Our beautiful U.S. flag: Long may she wave!

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member