Cemetery Sandwiches & Talented Directors | 4M #195

Cemetery Sandwiches & Talented Directors | 4M #195

Welcome to the hundred-and-ninety-fifth edition of Morticians’ Monday Morning Mashup, 4M #195, where we’ll serve up bite-sized, easily-digestible nuggets of the deathcare news you need to crush conversations in the week ahead. Bon appetit!

No, you’re not TA

You know those times when you think back on something you did and wonder if you were in the wrong? Well, there’s a subreddit where you can ask an audience of strangers their opinion. It’s called AITA, which is short for “Am I The A****le,” and recently a person asked if they were TA for taking their lunch break in a nearby cemetery. Although a cemetery visitor shamed the person for eating there when they had no loved one buried there, the AITA subredditors gave the person more grace, assuring them that it is perfectly acceptable to enjoy a sandwich in the cemetery.

Hallford’s request denied

Jon Hallford, one half of the dastardly duo behind the horrific 2023 Return to Nature tragedy in Penrose, Colorado, asked last week that the potential 15-year prison sentence that was part of his guilty plea to federal charges be reduced to 10 years. On Friday, the judge not only denied that request; she increased the sentence from 15 to the maximum of 20 years, and also ordered that Hallford pay $1 million in restitution to the families of his and his wife Carie’s nearly 190 victims. As Carie changed her plea to not guilty earlier this year, her fate will be determined with a trial that begins in September. The Hallfords also face charges on the state level.

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On to round two

Shuler King “killed it” and had the judges “dying of laughter” on the America’s Got Talent Season 20 stage recently. King earned these appropriate puns for two reasons — his stand-up comedy performance earned him unanimous yes votes from the AGT judges, advancing him to the next round, and because he’s a funeral director by day, working in his family’s funeral home in North Carolina. Join us in cheering on Mr. King throughout his AGT journey — because we all love someone who can legitimately put the “fun” in funerals? Good luck, Shuler!