When Words Matter: NFDA Releases Groundbreaking Communication Guide for Funeral Professionals

Brookfield, Wis. – The National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) has released “When Words Matter: A Funeral Director’s Guide to Clear and Compassionate Communication,” a groundbreaking, research-driven resource designed to bridge the growing language gap between funeral professionals and the families they serve. The study and guide were unveiled today during the Opening General Session of the 2025 NFDA International Convention & Expo in Chicago. 

Available now as a free download at NFDA.org/Research, this new guide is grounded in original NFDA research conducted earlier this year with more than 1,100 U.S. consumers across four generations. The findings reveal a striking disconnect between how funeral professionals and families understand commonly used industry terms and offer actionable strategies for improving clarity, trust and emotional connection. 

“Families aren’t wrong – they’re simply speaking a different language,” said 2025-26 NFDA President Daniel J. Ford, CFSP. “Our words are shaped by training and tradition, while families’ words come from culture, faith, media and emotion. This guide helps us bridge those differences so families feel understood and supported.” 

Addressing a Widening Communication Gap

The guide grew out of a key strategic initiative within NFDA’s 2023–26 plan: to explore the differences and similarities in how funeral directors and consumers talk about death, grief and remembrance. 

While funeral professionals have long used terms like “funeral,” “memorial service” and “celebration of life,” the new study revealed that families often define – or misunderstand – these terms in radically different ways. 

For example, only 16% of consumers defined memorial service as a service with the body present in a casket – the same definition used by funeral directors.

And, more than 75% of respondents said they had never even heard the term direct cremation. Younger generations, especially Gen Z and Millennials, reported the highest levels of confusion and the strongest preference for clear, plainspoken language. 

“This is a pivotal moment for our profession,” said Ford. “Today’s families are diverse – culturally, generationally, spiritually – and they bring different expectations to the conversation. As funeral directors, we have a responsibility to meet them where they are – listening first and then speaking with clarity and compassion.” 

A Practical, Interactive Tool

“The gap between professional language and consumer understanding isn’t unique to funeral service – it exists in law, medicine, accounting and nearly every specialized field,” said Ford. “The difference is that in funeral service, the words we use carry extraordinary emotional weight. ‘When Words Matter’ helps us translate our professional terminology into language that resonates with families, building trust and understanding.” 

“When Words Matter” includes:

• Consumer quotes illustrating how different terms are perceived.
• Side-by-side comparisons of industry terms and plain-language alternatives.
• Conversation starters and roleplay scripts to train staff in empathetic communication.
• Website and print checklist to help ensure consumer-facing materials are clear and welcoming.
• Self-reflection questions for ongoing professional development.
• Team action plan templates for implementing changes over the next 90 days. 

“This guide is not a rulebook for funeral directors; it’s a conversation starter for the staff at your funeral home,” Ford noted. “Some of what’s in here may challenge long-held assumptions. But it’s also an invitation to grow, to serve with even greater excellence, and to ensure that every family walks away feeling seen, understood, and supported.” 

Part of NFDA’s Unmatched Research Commitment

“When Words Matter” continues NFDA’s decades-long commitment to producing the funeral profession’s most trusted, independent research. In the past year alone, NFDA has released:

• “Across Borders, Across Traditions: A Global Study of Funeral Preferences” (2025) is the first international survey of consumer attitudes toward funerals.
• “Changing Consumer Preferences: A Generational Perspective on Attitudes Toward Funeral Service” (2025) offers deep insights into how Baby Boomers, Gen X, Millennials and Gen Z think about funerals.
• “Consumer Awareness and Preferences Survey” (2025) offers quantitative and qualitative research on what U.S. families expect from modern funeral service. 

All studies and tools are available at NFDA.org/Research. “NFDA is proud to lead the profession in original, evidence-based research that helps funeral directors make informed business decisions and deliver meaningful service,” Ford said. “Language shapes experience and “When Words Matter” is another example of NFDA helping members strengthen the connection between what we say and what families hear.” 

A Tool for Every Funeral Director

Whether serving grieving families or advocating for the profession, “When Words Matter” helps funeral directors improve communication in their day-to-day work and long-term strategy. 

“In our profession, the words we choose aren’t just important, they’re sacred,” Ford said. “They shape the way people remember, heal and find meaning. This guide is one more way NFDA is helping funeral directors lead with integrity, empathy and skill.” 

NFDA is the world’s leading and largest funeral service association representing 20,000 individual members who represent nearly 11,000 funeral homes in the United States and 49 countries around the world. NFDA is the trusted leader, beacon for ethics and the strongest advocate for the profession. NFDA is the association of choice because it offers funeral professionals comprehensive educational resources, tools to manage successful businesses, guidance to become pillars in their communities and the expertise to foster future generations of funeral professionals. NFDA is headquartered in Brookfield, Wis., and has an office in Washington, D.C. For more information, visit NFDA.org. 

Grief is a universal experience, yet it affects each of us in deeply personal ways. Whether mourning the loss of a loved one, a cherished relationship, or a life chapter that has passed, words can provide comfort and understanding during difficult times. Throughout history, writers, poets, and thinkers have captured the essence of grief, offering wisdom and solace through their words. Here are some of the most poignant quotes about grief and what they teach us about love, loss, and healing.

1. “Grief is the price we pay for love.” — Queen Elizabeth II

This simple yet profound quote reminds us that grief is a natural consequence of deep love. The pain of loss reflects the depth of our connections, serving as a testament to the significance of those we mourn.

2. “What we have once enjoyed deeply we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” — Helen Keller

Helen Keller’s words offer reassurance that love transcends physical presence. The memories and impact of those we’ve lost remain embedded in our hearts and minds.

3. “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” — C.S. Lewis

In his book A Grief Observed, Lewis articulates the raw and unpredictable nature of grief. The uncertainty, anxiety, and vulnerability that accompany loss can feel overwhelming, much like fear itself.

4. “There is no grief like the grief that does not speak.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

This quote highlights the importance of expressing grief. Suppressing sorrow can deepen our pain, while sharing our feelings can foster healing and connection with others who understand.

5. “The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered.” — Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Kübler-Ross, a renowned psychiatrist who studied the grieving process, reminds us that grief never truly disappears. Instead, we integrate our losses into our lives, growing around them as we move forward.

6. “Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart.” — José N. Harris

Grief often brings tears, and this quote reassures us that crying is not a weakness but a reflection of the love and compassion we carry within us.

7. “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” — A.A. Milne

Attributed to the beloved Winnie the Pooh author, this quote shifts our perspective on grief, reminding us to be grateful for the meaningful relationships that make parting so difficult.

8. “Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in the hollow part of your chest.” — Jamie Anderson

Anderson’s words beautifully frame grief as a continuation of love. Even in sorrow, love remains—unexpressed, yet deeply felt.

Finding Meaning Through Grief

While grief is painful, these words of wisdom remind us that it is also a profound expression of love. Though loss can feel insurmountable, we can find comfort in the knowledge that love never truly leaves us—it transforms, lingers, and shapes the way we continue to live.

If you’re grieving, take solace in these words and know that you are not alone. In time, healing will come, and your love for those lost will continue in new and beautiful ways.

Cross Words & Go-Go Gadgets | 4M #160

Welcome to the hundred-and-sixtieth edition of Morticians’ Monday Morning Mashup, 4M #160, where we’ll serve up bite-sized, easily-digestible nuggets of the deathcare news you need to crush conversations in the week ahead. Bon appetit!

Go-go to the cemetery

A Brooklyn entrepreneur has launched a fundraising campaign on Indie-Go-Go to bring her invention — and the dearly departed — to life. So far, Caylin Sanders has raised just over $3,000 of her $30,000 goal to launch the Gravesider mobile app, which will use augmented reality to share videos of historic figures during cemetery tours. You can check it out here.

The perfect tribute

As Hurricane Milton trudged across the Gulf of Mexico toward Florida as a category five last week, technicians from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) took the opportunity to provide the most appropriate disposition for a late colleague. The hurricane hunting plane “Miss Piggy” did double duty as it passed over Milton; in addition to mapping the storm, the team dispersed the cremated remains of radar scientist and researcher Peter Dodge, who died last year after 40 years as a federal employee. A reporter shared this beautiful gesture on his X account, as seen below.

You forgot something …

There’s a reason that abandoned funeral homes are prime properties for urban explorers (those folks who trespass into private property to explore interesting, empty spaces). Unfortunately, they love to trespass old mortuaries because so many previous owners tend to leave items behind that fascinate or freak out the general public. In addition to embalming tools and empty caskets, sometimes that includes human remains — in cremated form, that is. So it probably wouldn’t be surprising to learn that last week, the new owner of a former funeral home in Greenville, North Carolina found human remains on the property. The problem, though, is that these remains were not ashes; they were skeletal, and there were four sets. Seems there’s much more to this story, and authorities are investigating.

Cheez-y tombstones

A New Jersey outlet recently interviewed the owner of Koch Monuments, the oldest monument company in the state, to talk about the business and the significance of tombstones. The owner, Michael DiPiazza, shared some of the most interesting and humorous creations he’s done or seen, including:

• A stone featuring a box of Cheez-It crackers (the deceased loved them),
• One that reads “I’m Dead — Now What?,”
• A life-size granite Mercedes 240 D that took 13 months to carve,
• Bingo cards and crosswords (with the phrase “never a cross word” included),
• Clocks indicating the person’s time of death, and
• A stone including a photo of the deceased shooting a bird (they’re still working to get permission from the cemetery to complete that one).

Short Headstone Sayings

Headstone Epitaphs for Mom

Memorialize Your Loved One with a Free Website

Did you know that you can create a website to honor your loved one’s life for free? We’ve curated a list of the 10 best platforms that allow you to share obituaries and photos, announce funeral details, accept funeral donations, and where friends and family can post condolences and memories. Find the perfect memorial website here.

Military Headstone Inscriptions for Veterans

More Beautiful Epitaphs

Aubrey is a lifelong writer who has served in the funeral industry since 2016. After graduating from Dallas Institute of Funeral Service, she knew she wanted to continue to serve families through her writing, but didn’t know how.

Soon after, Aubrey experienced a “lightbulb” moment and started her eulogy writing business, Eulogies by Aubrey, in 2019.

Aubrey has written professionally since 2012, covering not only funeral-related topics and gift trends, but also for TV guide listings, as well as legal topics. She began writing for US Urns Online in 2019.

Aubrey’s work has been featured in Huffpost, Coming of Age Magazine, and 1800Flowers.com. She holds certifications in Cremation Arrangement (ICCFA) and Burial at Sea (NEBAS), and as of 2023, is a trained and certified birth and bereavement doula (SBD). Aubrey is currently studying toward her degree in Business Administration.