Teenage Directors & TikTok Preneeds | 4M #181

Welcome to the hundred-and-eighty-first edition of Morticians’ Monday Morning Mashup, 4M #181, where we’ll serve up bite-sized, easily-digestible nuggets of the deathcare news you need to crush conversations in the week ahead. Bon appetit!

Maybe “pay before you go?”

We know that the UK has some interesting and vastly different terms for some of our common words; over there, a car’s trunk is a “boot,” cookies are “biscuits,” and apartments are “flats.” When someone dies, the family goes to the “funeral directors” (funeral home) to meet with the “undertaker” (funeral director). A few of the latter have even coined a new term for what we refer to as prepaid funerals, or preneed arrangements. They’re calling this “scheme” (arrangement) “pay as you go” funerals, and a few of those undertakers have gone viral for sharing it on TikTok. While we admit it’s catchy, we can think of a few better ways to emphasize the “pre” part of preneed — pay before you go, maybe?

Speaking of terminology …

Last week a Georgia news station shared the good news that a bill to legalize natural organic reduction in the state had passed the house and senate and was headed to the governor’s desk for final approval. The bad news? In the headline, they referred to the practice as “human mulching.” Not the best way to get citizens excited about the new option, in our opinion…

Not immune from crime

A 66-year-old funeral director in Harlem thought he was sitting down with a grieving family member to make arrangements for a loved one’s services last month, but he was in for a terrible surprise. The man across the desk from him was only posing as a client, and proceeded to brandish a machete, then physically attack and rob the director. Police are still looking for the perpetrator, and the funeral director declined to press charges.

Starting them early

Many of our readers may have known from an early age that they would pursue a career in deathcare, but how many of you actually started working as a funeral director at 16 years old? A young man in the UK who just supervised his first funeral in his uncle’s establishment is being lauded as Britain’s youngest funeral director. At age 16, he’s already completed his GCSEs (similar to a specialized high school diploma in the US) plus six months of training with his uncle and says he has no plans to change careers.

Weed weaving

A woman in Australia who found solace in basket weaving after the death of a dear friend is now offering the same therapeutic experience by teaching others to weave their own coffins for natural burials. Her process utilizes the invasive but flexible Cat’s Claw vine, and it takes about 15 hours to complete a coffin. She teaches participants in her fully-booked classes how to include floral elements and biodegradable memorabilia in the weaving, and completes the coffin with the required absorbent lining and fluid catcher, which she makes from corn starch. If only we could find a similar way to make kudzu useful…

Did Elon uncover this?

A “disabled” Georgia man has been sentenced to nine months in federal prison and will pay more than $131,000 in fines and restitution after being found guilty of 20 years of Social Security fraud. Although Timmy Stephens began receiving monthly disability payments for a cardiac condition in 2001, in 2003 he returned to work in a funeral home, filing his earnings under a relative’s Social Security number and receiving more than $360,000 in disability benefits until the fraud was uncovered in 2024. It’s not clear from the press coverage of the funeral home’s awareness of or complicity in the plan.

Funeral Home Pro Reacts To TikTok Ban | FFFW 220

DISCLAIMER: None of the F’s in FFFW stand for “facts.” Enjoy the jokes and satire.

Welcome to Friday! We once again have arrived at the peak of the week. It feels like the world might be a little bit of different place comes next Friday. This time next week, only four teams will be left in the NFL playoffs, the next president will take office, and TikTok might be over as we know it.

Wild how much can change in a week.

But what won’t change is your weekly dose of GIFs, satire, and good news.

Let’s kick it off!

Days until the Chiefs win the Big Game: 23

Introducing The Memo by MemoryShare

MemoryShare, the #1 Live Streaming software for funeral homes, has announced a new monthly newsletter.

“The Memo” is for funeral directors to stay updated on the latest tools, pro-tips, video tricks, and technology op-eds in the funeral profession. Subscribers will get exclusive access to early offers, discounts, and feature releases.

To subscribe to The Memo, click the button below. The first 20 subscribers will receive a mystery gift!

[Subscribe Now]

Funeral Home Intern Forced to Live in Real World Now that TikTok is Banned

In a shocking turn of events, local funeral home intern Bryce “@MortuaryVibes” Miller has been forced to confront reality after the sudden ban of TikTok. Bryce, who gained modest fame for his embalming dance challenges and “day in the life” funeral home tours, was devastated to find his 2.3 million followers reduced to a single framed certificate of appreciation from his manager.

“I don’t know how to interact with people without captions and trending sounds,” Bryce confessed while aimlessly staring at a casket display. “How do I even explain to someone what I do here without a funny voiceover?”

Bryce’s coworkers have also noted his confusion in real-world settings. “He keeps trying to swipe left on the copier and says, ‘For you page,’ every time the boss walks in,” said funeral director Janice, shaking her head.

Despite his social media void, Bryce has been reassigned to the thrilling task of actually assisting grieving families. “It’s weird,” he admitted. “They want me to listen without lip-syncing. What do I do with my hands?”

Rumor has it Bryce is now lobbying for a new funeral app called “MournTok” to fill the void. Until then, he’ll be adjusting to life as a regular funeral professional.

Trivia

“Wadi al-Salaam (Valley of Peace)” in Najaf, Iraq, is the world’s largest cemetery. How many graves are estimated to be a part of it?

Select the correct answer, and you’ll get a GIF of an otter. Select the wrong one, and you’ll get a GIF of someone hurting themselves.

Answer Choices:

A) 1 million

B) 3 million

C) 5 million

You Otter Be Proud

Here’s some good news going on in the profession.

1. Wilson Funeral Home director honored for organ donor support
2. Old Lick Cemetery in Roanoke cleaned, repaired with help of national expert
3. Fifth-generation funeral director Jeff Monreal helps families grieve, celebrate loved ones