Honest Epitaphs & Obit Debates | 4M #201

Welcome to the two-hundred-and-first edition of Morticians’ Monday Morning Mashup, 4M #201, where we’ll serve up bite-sized, easily-digestible nuggets of the deathcare news you need to crush conversations in the week ahead. Bon appetit!

Ozzy’s epitaph

Although the late and great Ozzy Osbourne was in good health when he penned his 2010 autobiography, I Am Ozzy, he included his thoughts about his own death and final arrangements, upon which multiple outlets are now reflecting. “I’ve said to Sharon: ‘Don’t cremate me, whatever you do.’ I want to be put in the ground, in a nice garden somewhere, with a tree planted over my head. A crabapple tree, preferably, so the kids can make wine out of me and get pissed out of their heads.” He also expressed what he wanted inscribed on his tombstone: “I ain’t under any illusions. If I close my eyes, I can already see it: Ozzy Osbourne, born 1948. Died, whenever. He bit the head off a bat.” 

Another plea

The legal saga continues for Jon and Carie Hallford, in whose Colorado funeral home authorities found nearly 200 decomposing bodies in 2023. Last week, Carie Hallford pleaded guilty to federal charge of conspiracy to commit wire fraud — an action her husband also took a few months ago, earning him a 20-year prison sentence. The final sentencing for Carie’s charges will take place in December. 

Ask the expert?

A New York Times editor has embarked on a project that could be quite interesting to (and hopefully involve input from) the deathcare community. The NYT series “Death in the Modern Age,” according to a recent article entitled “Have a Question About Death? A New Project May Have the Answers,” will “focus on end-of-life issues and serve as a resource for readers who might be grappling with their own mortality or coping with the loss of someone close to them.” An FAQ forum titled “Let’s Talk About Death” is the “cornerstone” of the project and has already garnered “several hundred submissions.” No word on who will be answering these questions. 

“Lazy” obits

Is using all the cool new artificial intelligence-powered obituary-writing tools to provide families with a beautifully personalized tribute a solution — or is it “lazy?” That’s what some outlets are saying after The Washington Post published an article on the growing use of AI in deathcare. Here are some of the (frankly infuriating) headlines, but you can be the judge of how fair they are: