If you have read Funeral Director Daily for any length of time you will know that I am an advocate of “Permanent Memorialization” of loved ones.  My reason for that belief is pretty simple. . . 1)  It is just the way I was brought up and 2) I believe every life has meaning and should have the respect and memory of being remembered as long as possible.

By permanent memorialization I mean in a perpetually cared for cemetery, mausoleum, columbarium or other method, such as Better Place Forests or Great River Natural Burial, with some type of memorialization, such as a marker, designated to the deceased.  I should note that this “Memorialization” as I see it, can be done not only with casketed burial, but after cremation, alkaline hydrolysis, natural organic reduction, solidifying the cremated remains such as with Parting Stone, or any other method of final disposition.  What I think is “most important” is that there is some marker giving creedence to a “life that has been lived”.

Say what you will about my thoughts, but I think that remembrance and care is incredibly important for the future of humanity.  I’m a firm believer that the more “High Tech” we will become will create a synergy for “High Touch” as well — where we need connection to reality as a balance to the technology.

Here is an interesting video news story and print article of a single burial cemetery where the deceased was buried in 1833.  There was a small monument naming the deceased and today, almost 200 years later, people are still remembering her. In my book, it kind of gives reference and knowledge about a “life that has been lived”.

This Wikipedia article will give you information on all deceased U.S. Presidents and where they are buried.  It includes a photo of each of their burial monuments.  Interestingly enough, no deceased United States President has ever been cremated.  Vice-President Walter Mondale was cremated in 2021 but I believe he is the only Vice-President to be cremated.  I think it is important for our nation’s history that these Presidents are given this memorial permanence via their monuments that continues to reflect on the history of our nation.

Another bit of information foundational to the rest of this article is that this information from One World Memorials states that it is believed that one out of every three cremations has the cremated remains brought to a private home to be kept.  The United States has, it is estimated, over 2 million cremations per year which would, using this formula, mean that 600,000 to 700,000 cremated remains are brought to private homes annually.

It’s with that preamble that I’ve thought about the families of those in the North Carolina floods, or the Florida hurricanes, or most recently, the L.A. wildfires.  In L.A. alone it is estimated that 12,000 homes have been destroyed.  I cannot get over the human tragedy of not only losing your physical belongings but also losing the emotional bonds that are more than likely tied together by having your loved one’s cremated remains in proximity to you at your home.

This article that I found, dated in 2021,  titled “Recovering cremains in the aftermath of fires” points out:

One of the common threads that have surfaced from the interviews with the fire survivors is an appreciation of the non-material things in life. Although their experiences have been devastating and heartbreaking, they have all survived with renewed gratefulness for everything that they do have- memories, supportive family and friends, their health. They have come to terms with their losses and have new perspectives on what they value in life. The one material thing that they could not accept losing was the cremains of their loved ones. (Highlight provided by Funeral Director Daily)

Related Article —  “Day of Remembrance held at once forgotten cemetery”.  Loudon Now (VA)

Tom Anderson
Funeral Director Daily

Funeral Director Daily take:  We can probably chalk up the loss of cremated remains in disasters to the thought process that “the best laid plans can go awry”.  I’m guessing that very few who bring home cremated remains think about the loss of those precious remains via storms, hurricanes, floods, or fires.

And once that loss occurs. . . it is permanent and, for many, brings mental health challenges.

So, do we as funeral directors and advisors to these people have a greater responsibility than we seem to take at this time, to inform the clientele of what could happen without the idea of permanent memorialization?

Related Thought —  As cultural changes have occurred that includes many in the urban population living with pets such as dogs and cats, does this give greater creedence to pet cemeteries?

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