Grief and Joys of the Holiday Season

Virtual Funeral Professionals Peer Support Meeting in December 

WHEELING, IL— Between family obligations, work commitments, and winter weather, the holiday season can herald a uniquely stressful experience. Take some time for yourself next week.  Join the virtual December Funeral Professionals Peer Support meeting on Tuesday, December 16, 2025, at 8pm EST / 7pm CST / 5pm PST and support our own experiences as funeral professionals even as we serve grieving families.  

Amidst the gatherings and celebrations are long nights, many obligations, and the unique grief this month can bring. That’s why we need to take a moment to offer ourselves and our colleagues the same grace that we give our grieving families. We can acknowledge that we don’t have all the answers, especially when we’re facing our own personal and professional stressors. 

On December 16, Kelly Manion facilitates the monthly peer support meeting for us all to take some time to unwind with people who “get it.” With over 25 years dedicated to purpose-driven work in grief and over a decade of experience in the funeral service profession, Kelly understands the unique hardships and joys of this time of year. By providing space to talk about our grief, Kelly will help us understand the unique ways we all grieve and how to maintain our care for ourselves and our colleagues in the midst of it. 

For reasons both cheerful and challenging, December can be packed full of obligations. If you cannot attend this peer support meeting, or are seeking support outside of this time, Funeral Professionals Peer Support’s Warmline is open 24/7 for calls and texts. Connect with someone who understands what you are going through: 613-917-8057 (call or text). 

The unique grief and joy of the holidays can be emotionally and physically draining, so remember to take special care in this special time of year. Connect with your funeral professional peers on Tuesday, December 16, 2025 at 8pm EST / 7pm CST / 5pm PST via Zoom link at cremationassociation.org/peersupport. No registration is required, simply follow the link to join. (Please note that this meeting is hosted in an area that observes the time change at the end of Daylight Saving and “fell back” to Standard Time. Double-check your time zone before attending.) 

About Funeral Professionals Peer Support 

Funeral Professionals Peer Support Group is committed to providing support, healing, education and knowledge to funeral professionals. They promote wholeness and wellness by uniting funeral sector professionals through a Canada-wide network of regional organizations offering support, information and resources within their community.  

About CANA 

Founded in 1913, the Cremation Association of North America (CANA) is an international organization of over 3,700 members, composed of funeral homes, cemeteries, crematories, industry suppliers, and consultants. CANA members believe that cremation is preparation for memorialization. 

April 29, 2024

In the past few weeks, I’ve heard from high school friends that two of our classmates had died. This is not uncommon by itself, but the surprise came as I learned that one of our classmates had died two years ago, and another some three months ago. Yet, not one person we knew in common had known of their passing before now, so none of us who grew up together had any idea that we’d lost two “of our own.” That meant sorrow upon sorrow at the delay in learning of their passing.

Every year at this time, there comes a point at which we stop our hustling and bustling to do everything on our lists of things to do in preparing for family and guests to join us for the holidays. It may be only a brief stop as we realize that we forgot to get a gift for Aunt Emma, who never fails to bring gifts for all of us. Or, we might have left the grocery store with nine bags of ingredients for Christmas dinner, but we forgot the eggnog. Something has to give. Is it just me or do you find yourself thinking back to when times “seemed” simpler and easier to navigate?

Yet, was it really that simple a time, or were we simply more satisfied with how we were accomplishing everything on our list? It seems that the families who begin decorating their homes for the holidays right after Turkey dinner is over are the happiest about seeing Christmas arrive. They embrace their “inner Christmas” spirit, and out comes the outdoor lights and because there is typically good weather, it’s perfect to climb around on the roof and connect all the bulbs from last year. One of my favorite commercials this year is a family home decorated with outdoor lights that take the word “Extreme” to a new level. The house right next to it has one simple word blazing in stand-up lights: “Ditto.” Poignant.

What are we trying to say to ourselves and to our families by the traditions we make? Do we string the Christmas cards we get across the mantle or place them atop the mantle to keep track of who has communicated with us? Even though greeting cards are being sent more often these days, there’s something special about holding a card we’d rescued from the mail stack of boring bills to bring a smile and a promise to renew our hearts and mind about the reason for the season of giving and glorious and unconditional love. How many stockings hang in our home this year?

In the Bryan-College Station area, we have seven counties that our outreach impacts each year at this time. The Salvation Army has its annual angel tree. This year, all of the angels in need (student and Salvation Army families alike) have the opportunity to grow up and believe In the kindness of the people where they live. Countless bikes, toys, jackets and other wearing apparel that these children not only need, but want, are gathered and assembled by volunteers. This means something special to us as we shop for the children whose names we pulled. Let’s face it, when we know that what we do matters, that we can help others in need really makes a difference, it’s a great feeling. Our volunteering matters.

Are you missing a loved one for the first time this Christmas? Some families like to represent the missing family member with an empty chair in the place where they always used to sit. There’s a significance in the absence of that person. Other people have a tradition where they invite someone who is all alone at the holidays to sit in the “missing you” chair. It fills two opportunities to make someone alone feel less lonely and to fill the empty space at the table.

Every passing of a patriarch or matriarch of a family is unique. No one can tell you what is right for you except yourself. The traditions you set and continue each year are those that your children will always remember as being yours, and then they will make that a part of their traditions as they get their own homes.

If your banquet table is full, if your kitchen is overflowing, and if you find your home the busiest time of year ever, then your holiday is truly blessed. Be sure to take photos to keep for years from now to remember when all this generation’s children are grown and return with children of their own. And if your table is missing a loved one or two this year, reach back for those photo albums and slowly go through the pages. Close your eyes and open your heart to the days when all your loved ones were around you and feel the love that never dies. It transcends generations before and will last all the way through your generations to come. God bless you at Christmas, and every day in the coming year.

From our family to yours, Merry Christmas!

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

Every year at this time, there comes a point at which we stop our hustling and bustling to do everything on our lists of things to do in preparing for family and guests to join us for the holidays. It may be only a brief stop as we realize that we forgot to get a gift for Aunt Emma, who never fails to bring gifts for all of us. Or, we might have left the grocery store with nine bags of ingredients for Christmas dinner, but we forgot the eggnog. Something has to give. Is it just me or do you find yourself thinking back to when times “seemed” simpler and easier to navigate?

Yet, was it really that simple a time, or were we simply more satisfied with how we were accomplishing everything on our list? It seems that the families who begin decorating their homes for the holidays right after Turkey dinner is over are the happiest about seeing Christmas arrive. They embrace their “inner Christmas” spirit, and out comes the outdoor lights and because there is typically good weather, it’s perfect to climb around on the roof and connect all the bulbs from last year. One of my favorite commercials this year is a family home decorated with outdoor lights that take the word “Extreme” to a new level. The house right next to it has one simple word blazing in stand-up lights: “Ditto.” Poignant.

What are we trying to say to ourselves and to our families by the traditions we make? Do we string the Christmas cards we get across the mantle or place them atop the mantle to keep track of who has communicated with us? Even though greeting cards are being sent more often these days, there’s something special about holding a card we’d rescued from the mail stack of boring bills to bring a smile and a promise to renew our hearts and mind about the reason for the season of giving and glorious and unconditional love. How many stockings hang in our home this year?

In the Bryan-College Station area, we have seven counties that our outreach impacts each year at this time. The Salvation Army has its annual angel tree. This year, all of the angels in need (student and Salvation Army families alike) have the opportunity to grow up and believe In the kindness of the people where they live. Countless bikes, toys, jackets and other wearing apparel that these children not only need, but want, are gathered and assembled by volunteers. This means something special to us as we shop for the children whose names we pulled. Let’s face it, when we know that what we do matters, that we can help others in need really makes a difference, it’s a great feeling. Our volunteering matters.

Are you missing a loved one for the first time this Christmas? Some families like to represent the missing family member with an empty chair in the place where they always used to sit. There’s a significance in the absence of that person. Other people have a tradition where they invite someone who is all alone at the holidays to sit in the “missing you” chair. It fills two opportunities to make someone alone feel less lonely and to fill the empty space at the table.

Every passing of a patriarch or matriarch of a family is unique. No one can tell you what is right for you except yourself. The traditions you set and continue each year are those that your children will always remember as being yours, and then they will make that a part of their traditions as they get their own homes.

If your banquet table is full, if your kitchen is overflowing, and if you find your home the busiest time of year ever, then your holiday is truly blessed. Be sure to take photos to keep for years from now to remember when all this generation’s children are grown and return with children of their own. And if your table is missing a loved one or two this year, reach back for those photo albums and slowly go through the pages. Close your eyes and open your heart to the days when all your loved ones were around you and feel the love that never dies. It transcends generations before and will last all the way through your generations to come. God bless you at Christmas, and every day in the coming year.

From our family to yours, Merry Christmas!

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

The Holidays are here, funeral director!

For most people that entails lots of holiday parties, present shopping and some time off to spend with the family.

You might be thinking, “what a luxury it must be!” 

But don’t worry, with these 9 stress-busting survival tips for this holiday season, you might be able to squeeze a little merriness and joy this holiday season:

1. Remember the holidays are just a season

Nothing is permanent, as you may well be aware of as a funeral professional. And this especially applies to the sometimes overwhelming holiday season. 

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2. Overcome overwhelm

Holiday season CAN be done with ease and grace. Just because things are full on, doesn’t mean you have to respond with stress. Ask any mindfulness teacher how they deal with life without stress. Chances are, they find themselves in similar situations to you, funeral pro, and they do it all with a calm mind. If you want to go deeper into the overcoming overwhelm rabbit hole, check out this infographic we’ve created packed with tons of tips!

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3. See the holidays as a good thing

Could you be grateful for this time during the holidays, funeral pro? Could you feel happy to be helping so many families during a time when they need it most? Yes, that means practicing gratitude (we’ve got a whole article on that for you here). 

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4. Don’t be afraid to say “NO”

Saying “no” is one of your most important weapons right now. In order to give your best to you, your families, and yourself, saying “no” will make your “YES” so much more powerful. Of course, use your “no” wisely, and with sensitivity.

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5. Try not to stress eat

During the holidays, it’s easy to live in a perpetual state of anxiety, and eat as if your house is on fire for all meals. Holiday cookies, fast food and pizza delivery will not fuel you in the way you need energy right now. Take time out to fuel your body with the RIGHT stuff, not just anything.

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6. Sleep = the new gold

What’s more important than getting things done this holiday season? REST so you can get them all done! You can’t run on an empty tank, funeral director. If you don’t get a good night’s sleep because of late night calls, you, my friend, shall become an expert cat napper.

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7. Become an expert boundary setter

With all the holiday parties coming, it’s easy to say yes to everything because you’re a nice person. But what if this holiday season, you allowed yourself the freedom to only say yes to the holiday events that really bring you joy? Just make sure you… (keep reading below)

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8. Avoid isolating

It’s easy to isolate during busy times. And let me tell you, there’s nothing more depressing for me than not spending the holidays with those I love. Ask for support when you need it. Call the shots when you need to. Ask friends and family to bring you Christmas dinner to bed if you need to. For real! It can be that easy.

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9. Don’t forget to dance

One of my favorite ways to let go after a helluva day is to just… dance! Like a weirdo. Shaking my behind in ways I would never let another see. Turn on your favorite song and go for it. If you don’t believe me, dancing is known to increase endorphins, improve sleep and a ton of other benefits that you can read about here.

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How do you survive the holidays, funeral director? Tell us your tips in the comments below!