While we receive many questions related to funeral planning, there are several that we encounter on a regular basis. With that in mind, we’ve compiled the top 5 questions we hear. We’ve listed them below, along with a summary of our answers. To help you explore these questions about funeral planning further, we’ve included links to sections of our website with more detail.

Planning a funeral can be difficult. Whether you’re making arrangements after the loss of a loved one or preparing in advance for yourself, the process can be overwhelming. That’s because it involves emotional decisions, financial considerations, and logistical details that most people don’t think about until the need arises.

How much does a funeral cost?

Questions about the cost of a funeral are by far the most common that we receive. The answer may be a bit complicated. The actual cost of a funeral depends on several factors. Among these are location, the type of service you choose, and your personal preferences.

According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the average cost of a traditional funeral with a burial in the U.S. ranges from $7,000 to $12,000, including the casket, service fees, and burial plot. Cremation tends to be less expensive, averaging $4,000 to $7,000. Additional costs may include flowers, catering, or memorial keepsakes.

For more specific information on funeral costs, visit our Funeral Costs page.

Why is funeral planning important?

We often say that the best time to plan a funeral is before you need it. We really believe that. Funeral planning can ensure that your wishes or the wishes of your loved one are honored. Best of all, spelling out how you want to be memorialized can ease the emotional and financial burdens on your family members during a difficult time.

Planning allows you to make thoughtful decisions about the type of service, burial or cremation options, and other essential details. When you prepare, you ensure that everything aligns with personal values and preferences. You’ll also have time to make financial arrangements so that the expenses associated with your funeral are taken care of.

We recommend considering our After Me Planner and Organizer to get you started. We also provide detailed information on our website to give you a comprehensive understanding of what is required to make funeral arrangements. Here are links to a few pages that may be helpful.

Learn More About the After Me Planner and Organizer

More About Making Funeral Arrangements

What are the steps in planning a funeral?

Planning a funeral is similar to planning any other significant event designed to celebrate a life milestone. The key steps in planning a funeral include:

Set a Budget: Knowing how much you can comfortably spend will give you a framework for the many decisions you’ll need to make.

Decide on Disposition: Choose between burial, cremation, or other options.

Choose Service Options: Select the type of service you want. Do you want a traditional funeral, or would you prefer a memorial service and a celebration of life?

Estimate Costs: Assess the expected expenses and adjust your choices to align with your budget. Based on this, adapt your plans to align with your budget.

Communicate Your Plan: Share your decisions with family or a trusted individual.

Flesh out the ceremony details: You can specify elements like readings, music, and who will participate in the ceremony. The options you choose won’t be set in stone. In fact, we recommend that you review your plan periodically and make adjustments as your tastes change.

Arrange Financing: Explore options such as funeral insurance, trusts, or pre-purchase services.

Organize Your Personal Information: This is a crucial yet often-overlooked step. The goal is to gather and organize key documents such as wills, insurance policies, and other key information. Your family will also appreciate including information that can help with eulogies, obituaries, and genealogical records.

Our After Me Planner and Organizer is the perfect tool to help you manage all steps of the funeral planning process. Learn more about organizing for your next of kin with After Me.

If you are planning a funeral for someone else, your first step will be to determine if the person left behind their own set of instructions. That will give you a starting point.

What financial help is available for funeral expenses?

Thinking about your own mortality or having someone close to you can be overwhelming. When you add the stress of figuring out how to pay for it, the burden feels even heavier.

Unfortunately, funerals are expensive. There are several ways to get help, but it’s always best to ensure you have set aside funds to cover it. It’s always a good idea to ask the funeral home if they are familiar with any available resources. Some other options include:

• Life insurance policies that cover funeral costs. Insurance works best when you plan ahead, as there is paperwork to complete and premiums to pay. There are various types of policies, so be sure to research which one is best suited for you. See our page on funeral and burial insurance.
• Veterans’ benefits for eligible service members. While these may not cover the complete cost, some programs can help with a significant portion. For the most up-to-date information, check with the Veterans Administration.
• Social Security (a one-time death benefit of $255 for qualifying survivors). Social security payment on death is a minimal amount. If you are entitled to this benefit, be sure to take advantage of it.
• State or county assistance programs for low-income families. Every state has different programs, so it may take some research to determine what is available in your specific area.
• Charitable organizations such as churches and social groups. If you are a member of a group, you may be eligible to apply for financial help. Availability varies widely, so you will need to do some homework.
• Crowdfunding and Social Networks.
• It’s always a good idea to ask the funeral home about available resources.

Read more about getting help paying for a funeral.

What should I do right away when someone dies?

When someone dies, the initial steps depend on the circumstances of the death, including the location and manner in which it occurred. If the death happens at home and the person was under medical care, contact their doctor or hospice nurse so they can officially pronounce the death. If it was unexpected or there was no medical professional involved, call 911 so emergency personnel can assess the situation.

Once the death is legally confirmed, you’ll need to choose a funeral home or mortuary to take the person into their care. If your loved one had made arrangements in advance or has documented their wishes, locate those papers. They can save you from having to guess what your loved one would have wanted.

The next step is to notify close family and friends. You will also need to handle practical matters such as securing the home, caring for pets, and gathering important documents.

It’s okay to ask for help. There’s a lot to manage, and you don’t have to do it all alone. Take things one step at a time, lean on others for support. Remember, while there are legal and logistical tasks to handle, taking time to process your emotions is just as important.

For more details, visit our page on Making Funeral Arrangements.

Final Thoughts on Questions About Funeral Planning

It’s challenging to comprehend the complexity of planning a funeral. The best way to avoid issues that may arise is by planning ahead. We think the best way to do that is with our After Me Planner and Organizer but there are other ways to go about it. The important thing is to get started. You can find more information about the topics discussed in this article on our website. We plan to address more of your questions in upcoming articles in our Forums and newsletter. You can also email us directly at support@funeralwise.com.

For further reading:

Why use an online funeral planner?

Yes, planning a funeral is like planning a wedding.

By Guest Contributor Catherine Durkin Robinson

Catherine Durkin Robinson is the owner of Anitya Doula Services. She completed the End-of-Life Doula Program at the University of Vermont and is a member of the National End of Life Doula Alliance (NEDA).

Focus on LGBTQ Funeral Planning

Death is known as the great equalizer, but equality isn’t always afforded to the dead. Many end-of-life professionals still discriminate against members of the LGBTQ+ community. That’s why it’s important, especially if you identify as a gay, trans, queer, or non-binary individual, to know your rights while alive to protect yourself after death.

Your End-of-Life Wishes

Too many people wait until a serious diagnosis to get their affairs in order. It can be overwhelming and emotional. The best time to think about and plan for end-of-life is right now, before a terminal illness, while you’re thinking clearly and rationally.

What comes first? Picking the best advocate when you can no longer speak for yourself.

A key point in your LGBTQ funeral planning is choosing carefully when considering whom to put in charge of your affairs. Whether your “next of kin” is empowered to make decisions when you’re dead or still alive but can no longer communicate, you want someone you can trust.

If your spouse is supportive, that person will be in charge.  Otherwise, think carefully. Who in your life accepts your identity or sexuality? That’s the person who can help protect your wishes.

Establish an Advance Directive outlining your end-of-life wishes. Check your state’s requirements or contact an estate attorney to help create this document. Make sure your doctor, lawyer, and loved ones get a copy.

You can assign someone as a Durable Power of Attorney, a Health Care Proxy, and/or a Funeral Agent. Ideally, this person or persons will act according to your wishes.

Pre-Planning Funerals

Call at least three funeral homes, either where you live or where you want your body to go, and talk to them about their diversity and inclusion policies. Look specifically for established businesses either owned and operated by members or allies of the LGBTQ+ community.

Pre-planning your funeral or memorial service has several benefits that include:

• Establishing your wishes.
• Making sure they’re respected and followed.
• Paying for everything ahead of time.
• Eliminating the emotional burden on your loved ones who won’t need to go through the trouble of finding an inclusive funeral director because you’ve done that yourself.
• Also, easing financial burdens on next-of-kin. 

Your Obituary

While it may not seem a critical part of LGBTQ funeral planning, you should consider how you’d like your obituary to be written. It will be the formal announcement of your death and life that people read on websites, newspapers, and social media.

What do you want it to say?

You can always write it yourself and leave instructions for the funeral director to publish it after you die. Or perhaps you’d like to ask a professional writer, doula, lawyer, or trusted friend to write one instead. Talk to them about your name, pronouns, partners, and other ways to write your obituary properly.

Don’t leave it up to someone else to take care of this. If your family doesn’t accept your identity, you must take initiative to control the narrative and get your obituary written in a way that honors you. This includes anything you might want to keep private.

Plans for Your Body

Think about how you’d like your body washed and dressed after death. Discuss this with the funeral director and care team, so everyone understands how to proceed. You can also write these instructions in your will, pre-planning documents, and advance directives.

Do you want your body or cremains buried in a cemetery?

Many privately-owned cemeteries allow people to customize their grave markers. You don’t have to use your legal name or any other information that doesn’t correctly identify you. However, official documents in the cemetery’s office will include the death certificate, which will have your legal name.

Most cemeteries accept death certificates with different names than the marker. However, if you have time to legally change your name before death, please do so. It lessens the chance of problems in the future if all documents contain the same name.

If you don’t have time to legally change your name before death, make sure you find a cemetery that allows the marker to be customized. Also, ask about any marker restrictions that include colors, sizes, or shapes. You want to be laid to rest in a place that honors all of your wishes. 

What About National Cemeteries?

Thanks to the work of countless activists, laws have been passed to ensure that LGBTQ+ veterans are eligible to be buried in military or national cemeteries. However, you will need to secure the services of a funeral director to arrange these benefits. 

Depending on where you want to be buried, you may need to provide documentation about any name change and the proper discharge paperwork. If you are married, your spousal benefits are the same as any married couple. This includes life insurance, flag presentation, full military honors, and more.

X Gender Marker

If you have the “X” gender marker on an updated birth certificate, find out if your state recognizes it. This is especially important if you changed your birth certificate in a previous state of residence that recognized it, then moved somewhere that doesn’t.  

Contact your family attorney to avoid complications with any insurance claims or legal paperwork.

Put Everything in Writing

Many different kinds of families disagree with each other about end-of-life care and funeral plans. This is especially true with given or chosen families in the LGBTQ community. They might not support or even be aware of their loved one’s sexual orientation, gender identity, name, etc.

When making plans for this stage of life, and death, be open and honest with loved ones about what you want. These types of tender talks prevent arguments and disagreements when you’re gone.

Most importantly, create written legal documents with all of this information.

When someone dies, grieving loved ones might forget or feel too overcome with emotion to think rationally. Legally binding documents with clear instructions help everyone get on the same page. Include your end-of-life care plan, funeral decisions, and other specific wishes.

To learn more about funeral planning, visit our Wise Planning Page. Our Wise Planning System has various tools that can help you with whatever kind of funeral planning you need, whether it is LGBTQ funeral planning or planning for other types of communities.

Catherine Durkin Robinson was recently featured in an article in the Chicago Tribute. Click here to read the story.

I’m always searching the web for things that might be tied in to the funeral/cremation or greater Death Care business world.  Just the other day I came across a website for a company in the preneed arena which has a home page that states, “The Promise of Preneed“.

The company is Prelude and here is the website.  I’m not exactly sure of how the company operates but it appears to me that they partner with funeral homes or other disposition providers to offer almost instant preneed funeral policies to consumers.  Diving into the website and LinkedIn a little deeper here’s three things that they claim:

1. Prelude leads you and your customers through intuitive prompts and questions that helps them thoughtfully preplan their funeral.
2. Customers design their preneed plans, Prelude creates the ideal policy recommendations.
3. Pricing is generated instantly and customers can fully bind a policy in under ten minutes.

The LinkedIn site also states, “With Prelude, any employee in your office can walk a customer through our intuitive iPad-based experience and make a preneed sale, without needing to be a licensed agent.”

Here is the website for Prelude.

Tom Anderson
Funeral Director Daily

Funeral Director Daily take:  I operated a funeral home for over 30 years.  In that time period I did all kinds of advertising and public relations for the funeral home and it became apparent to me that the easiest and most cost-efficient way to build future market share was through the sale of preneed funeral policies.

Preneed funeral policies were a pretty simple sale — especially those types of policies that guaranteed that the consumer could have the option to use the proceeds at a different funeral home in the chance that they moved out of the area or our funeral home would be closed or acquired.  In essence, potential consumer clients knew that a funeral policy was not like a term-insurance policy or a Long-Term Care policy that “might be used in the event of. . . ”   Funeral policies were certain to be used at some point in time — at the time of death of the policy-holder. . . . They could be thought of as “Set-it-up and forget-about-it” policies for a future peace of mind.

And the great thing about “Set-it-up” and “Forget-about-it” is that once that was done there was not a great deal of “retention contact” necessary to make sure that death call was at your funeral home. . . . in essence, the future market share growth was virtually assured.

Our funeral home got pretty good at marketing the pre-need policies at a very reasonable customer-acquisition cost.  We used monthly seminars that were well attended by retirement folk and those seminars provided tons of leads.  That kind of customer acquisition still works today and if your funeral home is not doing it yet drop an e-mail to Patrick Zalusky at Laker Planning (lakerp@aol.com) who can be your one-contact to get everything done for a successful and well attended seminar almost anywhere in the country.

However, the big key to getting more and more people into pre-arrangements with your funeral home in today’s world might also entail the option of enrolling and signing up future clients online without them having ever met you.  We know more and more people want to do this planning in the comfort of their own home, but it is our opinion, no one in the profession has really got this concept down to the correct science yet. . . . For instance, we know that there is a reluctance by the consumer to make a one-time pre-payment for future death care services via credit card.   Might it be easier with monthly pre-approved drafts?  I think so and maybe an online-insurer can do that.

I don’t know much about Prelude, but maybe it might be worth your while to check into what their website says, “Discover a modern planning tool designed to complement your relationship-driven business.

More news from the world of Death Care:

Enter your e-mail below to join the 3,477 others who receive Funeral Director Daily articles daily:

“A servant’s attitude guided by Christ leads to a significant life”