Just last week according to this article from Newsweek “Southwest Airlines announced that it was ending a policy that allowed plus-size travelers to book an extra seat without extra costs. Under the new rules, passengers must buy two seats if they cannot fit on one, but refunds may be considered if the flight does not sell out.”

With that decision, according to the same article, Southwest joins United Airlines, Spirit Airlines, and Frontier Airlines as airlines that require a second seat be bought in these circumstances.

We also learned last week from this article from the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) that airlines are not the only industry wrestling with the sales requirements to wide-bodied people.  The article tells of Danescourt Cemetery in Tettenhall, City of Wolverhamption where the council had announced a 20% surcharge on the sale of six-foot wide cemetery lots as opposed to the standard five-foot wide lots.

According to my exchange rate math, the six-foot wide rate would be (in U.S. dollars) US $ 3,650 per lot as compared to a normal five-foot lot rate of about US $ 2,920.

According to the article the city defended the move “saying that it was responding to an increase in demand for larger graves, with obesity rates of 33.3% in the city compared with a national average of 25.9%.”  The city also commented that “Local authorities in Telford, Birmingham, Walsall, Coventry and Staffordshire have already implemented charges for wider coffins.”  

The Wolverhampton City Council has already opened a dedicated section for six-foot wide burial plots at the cemetery.

Mr. Ross Hickton, described as a funeral director with Hickton Family Funeral Directors, an independent company with seven branches across the West Midlands spoke against the idea.  According to the article, Mr. Hickton is quoted as saying, “Essentially it’s a fat tax. You know people have paid into the system their entire life, paid their council tax to Wolverhampton Council, and for them to be told 20% more because of the size of their loved one, it’s not really acceptable or fair.” 

Matthew Crawley, Chief Executive at the Institute for Cemetery and Crematorium Management stated, “You have a finite amount of space to work with; therefore if you need to eat into a grave next door, say, then that needs to be accounted for.  You also have to account for the idea that digging the grave itself will also need extra equipment to keep it safe.”

Following this discussion, the council made the decision not to proceed with the (extra charge) plans.  It was noted, however, that extra charges for larger plots was “(a) common practice taken by councils around the country where higher charges cover the costs of providing a larger plot”.

A little more information on the subject—  The National Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors surveyed its members to ask if their local councils charged more for wider plots.  They received 165 replies with 25% answering in the affirmative.

The BBC contacted 27 local authorities in the West Midlands and just over a third said they charged more for wider burial plots.

Related — Another article on this decision from The Guardian.  “Wolverhamton Council rethinks plan to introduce premiums on wider graves”. (Great Britain)

Related — Another article on this decision from The Independent.  “Council slammed for charging ‘fat tax’ on burials of larger coffins.”

Tom Anderson
Funeral Director Daily

Funeral Director Daily take —  I see both sides of this issue.  Anecdotally, I always felt nervous when I had to tell a family that an “oversize” or “larger than average” casket might be needed for their loved one.  It was a part of funeral arrangements that had to be done and it was never comfortable to do so.

I will also tell you that when I first started working in the profession in 1980 we had about one in every seventy-five casketed deaths that required an “oversize” casket.  By the time I retired that ratio went to about one in twenty. . . so, on average, people who died were larger.

There are lots of theories on why this is so and I use judgement very judiciously so I don’t even want to venture an opinion.  In some cases it may be out of a person’s own actions or ability to be smaller. It’s difficult for me to pass judgement on that individual.

It reminds me that we all live with different situations.  As for me, I’m simply grateful for my situation.  I have a devotional quiet time every single day and I have a lot to be thankful for.  During that time I always make a point to thank the Lord that at 67 years of age he allows me to be able to run a couple of miles daily and also  gives me the health to play golf.  I’m so very grateful to Him for that ability  — even if I’m a slow runner and a poor golfer!!

Trying to be accommodating to people of all situations is part of our duty as funeral directors. The large human-being requiring an “oversize casket” or larger grave is one of those instances.  However like airlines, funeral homes and cemeteries should be allowed to recoup the extra costs of that accommodation as well.

I’m guessing that oversize seats, caskets, and cemetery lots will continue to be a tricky and touchy subject.

By the Way — I don’t like the term “oversize” or “plus size”.  However, I had a difficult time coming up with the right term.  Take a look at the, at least in my opinion, awful synonyms for “oversize casket” that the thesaurus gave me.  You can see their suggestions here.

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April 4, 2025

Losing a loved one is an emotional and challenging time, and navigating the funeral process can feel overwhelming. Whether it’s your first time making funeral arrangements or you’re unsure about certain aspects of the process, it’s natural to have many questions. Understanding the typical procedures and options available can help ease the burden during this difficult time. Here are some of the most frequently asked funeral questions and their answers to guide you through the process. 1. What is the difference between a funeral and a memorial service? A funeral typically involves a ceremony held with the body of the deceased present, either before or during burial or cremation. It often includes a viewing or wake, where family and friends can pay their respects. A memorial service , on the other hand, takes place after the body has been buried or cremated and does not involve the presence of the body. Memorial services may be held in various settings, such as homes, churches, or other venues, and can be personalized to reflect the life of the deceased. 2. What is embalming, and is it required? Embalming is a process that involves preserving the body to delay decomposition, usually for viewing purposes. It is not legally required in most places but may be necessary if the body is to be displayed at a public service or transported over long distances. In cases where there will be no viewing, embalming is typically not needed. However, certain states or countries may have regulations about embalming or the timing of burial. It’s important to check with the funeral home to determine what’s required in your area. 3. How much does a funeral cost? The cost of a funeral can vary greatly depending on factors like location, the type of service, and the funeral home you choose. There are options to help manage funeral expenses, such as cremation (which can be less expensive than burial), choosing a less elaborate service, or purchasing a funeral plan in advance. 4. What is cremation, and how does it differ from burial? Cremation involves the process of reducing the body to ashes. Many people choose cremation for its simplicity, lower cost, and flexibility in how the ashes can be kept, scattered, or interred. Some people opt for a cremation memorial service, where the ashes are present but there is no body. Burial , on the other hand, involves placing the body in a casket and then burying it in a cemetery. This option may include the purchase of a grave plot, headstone, and other related services. The choice between cremation and burial depends on personal, cultural, and religious preferences. 5. What are the steps in planning a funeral? Planning a funeral typically involves the following steps: Notify family and friends : Reach out to close family and friends and inform them of the passing. Choose a funeral home : Select a funeral home to help with arrangements, including embalming (if applicable), obtaining necessary permits, and coordinating transportation. Select the type of service : Decide on whether you want a funeral, memorial, or graveside service. You’ll also need to choose the location and any religious or cultural elements to incorporate. Choose a casket or urn : Select a casket for burial or an urn for cremation. There are many styles and price ranges to choose from. Plan the ceremony : Work with the funeral director to plan the service, including music, readings, eulogies, and floral arrangements. Arrange for transportation : The funeral home will coordinate the transportation of the body to the service and burial or cremation site. 6. Should I pre-plan a funeral? Pre-planning a funeral is a personal choice. Many people choose to pre-plan to relieve their loved ones of the burden of making arrangements during a time of grief. Pre-planning allows you to specify your wishes for the service, casket, burial, and other aspects of the funeral, ensuring your desires are respected. Additionally, pre-paying for a funeral can help protect your family from rising costs in the future. However, it’s important to carefully consider pre-planning options, as funeral costs can vary, and you’ll want to ensure that the plan is flexible and fully understood by the family members who will carry out your wishes. 7. What are the options for scattering ashes? If you choose cremation, there are many options for what to do with the ashes: Scattering : Many people choose to scatter the ashes in a location that had significance to the deceased, such as a favorite park, beach, or nature spot. Keepsake urns : Some families choose to keep a portion of the ashes in a special urn or piece of jewelry. Interment : Ashes can be interred in a family plot or at a cemetery, either in a niche or within a memorial garden. Other creative options : There are many creative options for commemorating the deceased, including turning ashes into diamonds or using them to create a memorial reef. 8. What is a death certificate, and why is it important? A death certificate is an official document issued by a governmental authority that confirms the death of a person. It is essential for handling legal and financial matters, such as settling the deceased’s estate, claiming life insurance, and closing accounts. The funeral home typically assists in obtaining several copies of the death certificate. 9. Can I personalize a funeral service? Absolutely! Many families choose to personalize the funeral service to reflect the deceased’s personality, passions, or hobbies. You can incorporate meaningful music, photos, special readings, or even display personal items that were important to the deceased. The funeral director can help guide you through creative options for personalization. 10. What should I do if I can’t attend the funeral? If you’re unable to attend the funeral in person, consider sending flowers, a sympathy card, or making a charitable donation in the deceased’s honor. If the family holds a memorial service, they may also offer the option to participate virtually, such as through a livestream. It’s always thoughtful to express your condolences in any way possible. Funeral planning can be complex, but understanding the answers to these frequently asked questions can help make the process easier to navigate. Whether you are arranging a funeral for a loved one or pre-planning your own, it’s important to take the time to make informed decisions. By doing so, you can create a meaningful, respectful ceremony that honors the life and memory of the deceased, while providing comfort to those who are grieving.

December 23, 2024

Grief is a journey that no one wants to traverse, yet it is a path many will find themselves on when a loved one passes away. As we contemplate the profound impact of loss, it’s vital to recognize how we can reach out and support our friends during their times of sorrow. Understanding our role can foster connection and compassion, especially in a world filled with emotional challenges. When we think about navigating this sensitive subject, finding the right balance between offering support and respecting personal space is essential, particularly as families often seek services from adjacent resources, such as Rochester, NY funeral homes. Understanding Grief and Its Phases Before we can effectively support our grieving friends, we should take time to understand the grieving process itself. Grief is not linear and encompasses various emotions and phases: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The upheaval following a loss can bring about tumultuous feelings, and it’s important to remember that your friend may oscillate between these stages throughout their journey. A critical way that we can help is by being present. Sometimes, your friend may need a listening ear more than they need advice. Allowing them the space to express their thoughts and feelings without judgment can be incredibly beneficial. It may be helpful to encourage them to share funny or touching memories they have of their loved one, a practice that can provide moments of solace amidst the turmoil. Offering Practical Support Helping a friend through grief also means offering practical assistance. Grieving can be an exhausting and overwhelming experience, leaving little energy for everyday tasks. Offer to help with simple chores—cooking meals, running errands, or helping keep things organized at home. Sometimes, just knowing someone is there, offering to shoulder some of life’s burdens, can alleviate the stress your friend is feeling. In addition to offering tangible help, suggesting options from local services can also ease the burden. For instance, if your friend needs support in navigating funeral logistics, it’s wise to mention reputable funeral homes, that they could consider, like Rochester Cremation. Knowing that compassionate professionals are available can bring reassurance and peace to their difficult journey. Creating a Comfortable Environment for Healing When it comes to helping a grieving friend, creating an environment that allows for open conversation is critical. While checking in on them is appreciated, remember to approach them sensitively. Each day might feel different for your friend, so the time you spend together should evolve based on their needs and feelings. Inviting your friend out for a walk—some fresh air can aid in emotional healing—might help distract them from their grief, although it’s essential not to force social interaction if they seem disinterested. The simplest gestures, like a text message to let them know you’re thinking of them, can go a long way, even if they don’t respond immediately. Respecting Boundaries and Understanding Signs of Need While offering support, it’s just as vital to acknowledge when to step back. Everyone’s process is unique, and not everyone is comfortable discussing their grief openly. Pay attention to their cues; if they seem withdrawn or if they indicate a desire for solitude, honor that choice. Encourage professional support if needed. Whether it’s suggesting a grief counselor or attending a support group together, prioritizing their mental health by finding professional help can be a game changer. Informing them about available local resources shows that you care and are looking out for their well-being. The road following a loss is fraught with challenges. Yet, knowing we can play a role in transforming a friend’s grief reality can inspire hope. In conclusion, as we support our friends during these heartbreaking times, let’s embrace compassion and understanding, remembering our larger community as we navigate the journey together. If you have questions regarding resources or services through Rochester, NY funeral homes, reach out for help. The existence of compassionate professionals at places like Rochester Cremation highlights that support is always within reach.

Dealing with Cemetery Disinterment and Displacement after a Natural Disaster

In the weeks since Hurricane Helene dumped a deluge of rain on the already-saturated Southeast, thousands of heartbreaking videos of the aftermath have hit YouTube. One of these videos, which focused on search and rescue/recovery efforts in Avery County, North Carolina, illustrated a problem that often accompanies disastrous flooding: Casket displacement, retrieval, and identification.

In that video, which was posted on October 8, a reporter from Queen City News of Charlotte traveled along with deputies from a search and rescue team along the Elk River as they looked for a casket that drone footage had picked up days earlier.

“That’s somebody’s loved one out there that we need to bring home,” one deputy said. “They’re not garbage. We don’t need to leave them out on the riverbank. We need to bring everyone home.”

Deputies couldn’t get to the casket because the area’s roads had been obliterated by Helene. The National Guard was brought in to hike the miles of terrain in search of the casket, which was coffin-shaped and appeared to be quite old. The reporter ended the video saying that the Guard members’ efforts were unsuccessful that day, but they’d be back to continue the search. 

A common problem

Videos showing caskets racing down a raging river or images of caskets and gaping vaults poking awkwardly out of graves aren’t at all uncommon after natural disasters that dump torrential amounts of rain on a community. But it’s not just flooding that can displace a gravesite; mudslides, high water tables, and storm surges can also wreak havoc. 

The following incidents of unearthed caskets — and the problems that accompany them — were reported just within the last 10 months:

Hurricane Ida, mentioned in the last item above, unearthed 282 caskets when it pummeled southeast Louisiana in 2021. More than 1,500 gravesites were destroyed, displaced, or dislocated by Hurricane Katrina in 2005. And the totals from Hurricane Helene could take months or longer to tally.

Many believe the problem is only going to get worse as the ecological effects of climate change escalate. In addition to water-related tragedies, climate change is sparking wildfires that obliterate gravestones, turning cemeteries into swamps as permafrost melts in Alaska, and storm surges and rising sea leaves are steadily eroding coastal land, including cemeteries where the long-dead rest.

Why it happens

The science behind the disinterment-by-water phenomenon is pretty basic. Modern airtight caskets and vaults simply build up pressure when surrounded by water. Sealed vault tops pop open, and caskets become so buoyant that they float up and out of the grave. Once displaced, the incredible force of rushing water (weighing about 1,700 pounds per cubic yard, one foot of flood water can displace 1,500 pounds) can send caskets, vaults, and remains on a journey that lands them miles away from their original location.

Cities in low-lying areas (like New Orleans, for example) mitigate potential disinterment by burying their dead above-ground. This doesn’t prevent displacement, though, as Hurricane Katrina proved in 2005. In the end, Mother Nature can always find a way to conquer cemeteries.

The conundrum of recovery

The aforementioned situation in Avery County, North Carolina brings up a polarizing issue: how should authorities prioritize recovery efforts for the long-dead when so many of the recently presumed dead are still missing? There’s truly no right or good answer.

However and whenever a casket is recovered, though, there are certain protocols that are followed to try to identify and hopefully re-inter the deceased. Many can be identified by the casket’s serial number or the scrolls in the casket’s memory tube. If that’s not an option, the casket’s contents will be searched for items deposited with the body or personalized details like embroidered pillows or lid panels. Jewelry and clothing can also help with identification. If those efforts aren’t successful, DNA, dental records, or serial numbers on replacement body parts are usually last-ditch options. Often these duties are performed by the government’s DMORT teams, which are made up of deathcare professionals and other specialists.

After identification, families, cemetery workers, volunteer organizations, and government units work together to rebury the remains. In 2016, Louisiana formed a Cemetery Response Task Force to coordinate the multifaceted work of restoring cemeteries and their inhabitants to their original state after a natural disaster. After Hurricanes Laura and Delta, the task force solicited “Good Samaritan” volunteers and encouraged families and cemetery owners/managers to apply for an $8,000-per-grave award from the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) for cemetery repairs.

Sadly, some of the deceased are never located, while some of those that are located are never identified. Three years after 2021’s Hurricane Ida, Louisiana’s task force is still working to identify 40 bodies in the Ironton area; the remains are temporarily stored in two semi trailers as families patiently waited for word on their loved ones.

Mitigation and preparation

For inactive or abandoned cemeteries, little can be done to prepare for natural disasters or mitigate potential disinterment or displacement. Some families have covered graves with sandbags ahead of a storm or created heavy-duty bolted-together concrete contraptions as a long-term solution. 

However, most emergency response authorities encourage active cemeteries to create mitigation plans to better prepare for the possibility of a catastrophe. In 2016, the Natural Hazards Center published Preserving the Dead: Cemetery Preservation and Disaster Planning, a document that detailed the potential impact to cemeteries from weather-related tragedies and offered recommendations on how to prepare. These steps included evaluating high-risk topography like low-lying flood-prone areas, ensuring cemetery records are complete and secure, and the entire property is thoroughly and accurately surveyed and mapped. The document also recommends maintaining proper insurance coverage and remaining aware of government resources.

While no one can always predict how or when a natural disaster will impact a cemetery, families will appreciate the fact that the property is prepared for recovery when and if it becomes necessary.

Grief is a profound, complex experience that many of us will face at some point in our lives. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, the end of a significant relationship, or any other form of bereavement, the impact on our emotional and physical wellbeing can be extensive. For those who have recently attended services at Henrietta, NY funeral homes, understanding grief and the passage of time is crucial for the healing process.

The Initial Stages of Grief

Immediately following a loss, individuals often find themselves in a state of shock and denial. Emotions are raw during this period, and the reality of the situation may not fully register. These initial reactions serve as a protective mechanism, cushioning the immediate blow of the loss.

Transitioning Through Grief

As time moves forward, so does the nature of grief. Anguish and pain may give way to a deep longing or yearning for the deceased. The journey through grief is intensely personal, and the duration of each stage differs from person to person. Although there is no set timeline for how long someone should grieve, many people find that the sharpness of their pain lessens over time.

The Role of Rituals and Remembrance

Services to honor the departed, such as memorials or celebrations of life, offer a structured way to begin processing grief. While a funeral is often seen as a final farewell, it can also mark the commencement of healing. Beyond the services, creating personal rituals or finding ways to commemorate the lost loved one can maintain a connection while still allowing for progression through grief.

The Physical Expression of Grief

Grief is not only emotional but physical. The body responds to the stress of loss in various ways, and recognizing the signs of physical grief is fundamental in coping. Rest, nutrition, and gentle exercise can offer some relief and support the body’s ability to heal during these taxing times.

Coping Mechanisms and Support Systems

As healing progresses, finding effective coping strategies is crucial. This might involve seeking the support of friends and family, joining support groups, or exploring creative outlets like writing or art. Professional help from counselors or therapists experienced in bereavement can also provide guidance.

The Forging of a New Normal

In time, individuals adapt to their loss and begin to redefine their sense of normalcy. Integrating the loss into one’s life and identity marks a turn in the grief journey where individuals often find new strengths and ways to move forward, carrying memories with them but not being defined by their loss.

The Non-Linearity of Grief

It’s important to remember that grief is not a linear process. Anniversaries, holidays, or even small reminders can evoke memories that resurface feelings of sadness. This is a natural part of the healing process and does not mean one has regressed in their journey.

How Time Influences Healing

Over time, the intensity and immediacy of grief typically recede. Time allows for reflection, adaptation, and even growth. Although the saying “time heals all wounds” may not be entirely accurate, as some scars remain, it is true that time often brings a level of comfort and adjustment that was not initially present.

Conclusion

In conclusion, for those who have experienced loss and began their journey of grief at Henrietta, NY funeral homes, know that time can be a compassionate ally in the healing process. Everyone’s experience with grief is unique, and there is no correct way to navigate it. At Rochester Cremation, we understand the complex nature of bereavement and offer supportive services to honor your loved ones and assist in your journey towards healing. To find closure and peace, give yourself permission to grieve in your own time, and embrace the support of those who can guide you through.