Crab-Shaped Caskets & Coffin Torpedoes | 4M #202

Welcome to the two-hundred-and-second edition of Morticians’ Monday Morning Mashup, 4M #202, where we’ll serve up bite-sized, easily-digestible nuggets of the deathcare news you need to crush conversations in the week ahead. Bon appetit!

More than mildly infuriating

You don’t have to be a feminist to recognize the stark contrast in this couple’s epitaphs — which is why the image has gone viral on Reddit. Newsweek reached out to Parting Stone’s Carla Harvey for comment, and we love her response. “Too often, Harvey said, women are remembered only for the roles they played in service to others, while their own passions, achievements, and identities go unacknowledged.” So, as a deathcare professional, remember that you have the unique opportunity to help a family tell a person’s story — whether it’s on a grave marker, video tribute, obituary or elsewhere.

Meaningful journey

How cool is it that the Washington State Ferry system hosts memorials at sea for families in the Northwest? Anyone who wants to spread the cremains of a loved one into the Puget Sound can book a memorial on one of seven ferry routes for only $150. The ferry service also offers a biodegradable Himalayan salt “journey urn” for purchase.  

New podcast

James H. Cole Home for Funerals, Michigan’s oldest Black-owned funeral home and the home of our friend, fourth-generation funeral director Antonio Green, debuted a new podcast on August 7. Antonio and his brother, Brice, are the hosts of “The Repast Podcast,” which offers an “unfiltered, informative, and deeply human look at the funeral industry and welcomes experts from across the deathcare landscape. Check out The Repast Podcast on YouTube and follow @repastpodcast on Instagram for behind-the-scenes info.

Ghana’s got it goin’ on

Who looks forward to attending a funeral? Perhaps the folks in Ghana, as their over-the-top funerals take the “celebration” part of the celebration of life event seriously. Regula Tschumi has spent 20 years photographing and researching Ghanaian funeral rituals, which include dancing pallbearers and customized coffins shaped like apples, crabs, teapots, pineapples, fish, vehicles … pretty much anything that reflects the deceased’s life or personality. The Guardian recently shared some of Tschumi’s work, which we encourage you to enjoy here!

Bring ‘em back

The Columbus (Ohio) Dispatch recently reminded readers of one of the state’s forgotten inventions: the coffin torpedo. A rash of grave robberies during the Victorian era led Columbus artist Philip Clover to design and apply for a patent in 1878 for a “torpedo” that would “successfully prevent the unauthorized resurrection of dead bodies.” The device would be secured to the coffin and/or the body and would fire lead balls if someone attempted to remove the corpse. It’s not clear if the coffin torpedo was ever implemented, but one must wonder if a version of this invention could be used today to prevent the theft of vases in cemeteries. Just a thought …

Frozen Dead Guys & Coffin Coffee Tables | 4M #180

Welcome to the hundred-and-eightieth edition of Morticians’ Monday Morning Mashup, 4M #180, where we’ll serve up bite-sized, easily-digestible nuggets of the deathcare news you need to crush conversations in the week ahead. Bon appetit!

Fun while it lasted

We were “today old” when we heard about the Frozen Dead Guy Festival in Nederland, Colorado, and, alas, we are five years too late to participate in the celebration of a Norwegian man who died in 1989 and was stored in a cryogenic capsule in a shed in the tiny 1.6-square-mile town. The festival was created in 2002 as a way to promote tourism, and until Covid interfered, it attracted thousands of tourists for coffin races, polar plunges, and hearse parades. 

Remembering the royals

Speaking of newly discovered fun(eral) facts: Did you know that both Princess Diana and her father-in-law Prince Philip were buried in lead-lined coffins? The Royal Observer shared these “lesser-known” details just last week, commenting that Diana’s coffin weighed more than 700 pounds, and Philip’s lead-lined English oak coffin was made for him 30 years before his death in 2021. While the primary purpose of the lead was to “prevent moisture” and therefore keep the body intact for a longer time, a 2019 tweet shared in the article said the lead in Diana’s coffin also helped to “protect her body from any paparazzi or obsessed fans using x-rays to see through the casket.”

Three-in-one

Prince Philip may have had the right idea when he had his casket made for him a full three decades before his death. A now-34-year-old California welder and artist constructed her own five-sided coffin during her senior year of college as she was “unconsciously processing the dread of leaving school and not having a clear idea of what life would look like.” Today, the casket sits in her living room, serving as a coffee table and storage for clothing, blankets, and pillows. She’s also hosted “coffin parties” where she “invites guests to lie in the coffin and contemplate their mortality.”

Website worries

Arlington National Cemetery is the final resting place for more than 400,000 individuals, including presidents, high-ranking military officials, and people who left their mark on the history of our country. Until recently, the names and accomplishments of some of the more notable inhabitants were listed on the cemetery’s website on pages that also highlighted aspects of their race, gender, or ethnicity (for example, one page highlighted the graves of Black soldiers). Last week, Arlington removed most of the pages from the website, citing President Trump’s executive orders to scrub content promoting “gender ideology and discriminatory equity ideology.” Officials told The New York Times that they are committed to restoring this content in accordance with the new guidelines as soon as possible. Although these separate listings and guides to these particular gravesites are no longer on the site, every grave within Arlington can still be found using the website’s ANC Explorer tool, a grave locator app.

Coffin Cocaine & Christmas Easter Eggs | 4M #170

Welcome to the hundred-and-seventieth edition of Morticians’ Monday Morning Mashup, 4M #170, where we’ll serve up bite-sized, easily-digestible nuggets of the deathcare news you need to crush conversations in the week ahead. Bon appetit!

Another kind of niche

Forbes recently featured five “hidden market niche ideas” for entrepreneurs that “could potentially be worth millions,” and deathcare made the list! Eco-friendly burial services were included with pet wellness services, senior rehabilitation services, DIY repair kits, and mental health support for entrepreneurs. 

Smiles & Sharpies

A British funeral home owner is winning all kinds of awards for her not-so-conventional approach to deathcare. Neon-pink-haired Kate Moran, “The Smiley Celebrant,” allows only two services per day at her venue to allow families more time for bespoke goodbyes. Also, she keeps toys in the memorial space for kids and plenty of Sharpies on hand so visitors can write their good-bye messages or draw pictures on the casket. Her efforts to personalize services have earned Kate a Yearly Achievement Award, an award from Good Funeral Awards, and three nominations for Celebrant of the Year. 

So sus

When Dutch authorities pulled over a 30-year-old Frenchman for “suspicious driving behavior” last week, they found two coffins within his van. The driver said the coffins contained bodies, but couldn’t produce the paperwork, so the coffins were taken to a local funeral home. When they were opened, there were no bodies inside. Instead, authorities found duffel bags full of lots and lots of cocaine. Surprise!

Ho-ho-horror

Move over, Die Hard. A new film is attempting to inspire those oh-so-fun is-it-or-isn’t-it-a-holiday-movie debates. Lily-Rose Depp, star of the upcoming Nosferatu remake, recently claimed that the vampire flick is indeed a Christmas movie — and it’s not just because it’s being released on December 25. “There are a couple Christmas-y Easter eggs in there, so I feel like if you watch it on Christmas, you’ll feel in tune, you’ll feel like they’re in the same time as you,” she told Entertainment Tonight. “And, you know, there’s snow! It gets pretty cold. Who doesn’t love to think about death and the realm of the dead on Christmas Day?” 

Hope after Helene

Families in Augusta, Georgia, are getting antsy after three months of being denied access to three city-owned cemeteries. In late September, winds from Hurricane Helene toppled trees within all three properties, wreaking havoc on the grounds and gravestones. City officials have struggled to overcome clean-up roadblocks, like unearthed root balls that have to be inspected by archaeologists before they can be removed, and the fact that only light equipment and small vehicles can be safely used within the spaces. Those same officials, though, understand families’ frustrations, and hope they can offer scheduled, escorted visits very soon.

We still love Lucy

Did you know that Lucille Ball didn’t think she was “naturally” funny? During a recently-recounted conversation with a publicist who chauffeured her in the 70s, Lucy confided that she thought it was the material written for her that made people laugh. However, she thought another star — who wasn’t necessarily known for her humor — was truly hilarious. She told the publicist, “Judy Garland was the most naturally funny woman in Hollywood. In fact, Judy Garland made me look like a mortician.” Ouch.

Secret Santas & Coffin Experiences | 4M #165

Welcome to the hundred-and-sixty-fifth edition of Morticians’ Monday Morning Mashup, 4M #165, where we’ll serve up bite-sized, easily-digestible nuggets of the deathcare news you need to crush conversations in the week ahead. Bon appetit!

Ongoing investigation update

Medical examiners at the Georgia Bureau of Investigation are still working to complete the identification of the 18 deceased individuals discovered in late October at Johnson Funeral & Cremation Services in Douglas, Georgia. Our hearts go out to the families who are still waiting to learn if their loved ones were among those who were never buried or cremated as promised by the facility’s owner, Chris Johnson, who has been charged with 17 felony counts of abuse of a corpse. Here are a few of the latest updates on the ongoing investigation:

• Johnson is still in custody, but has been relocated to other jails TWICE “for his safety.”
• Authorities searched the woods behind the facility last week, but told reporters the search was just “a box that needed checking off,” and nothing was found.
• Twelve of the 18 bodies have been identified, according to the GBI.
• The GBI is also testing cremains presented to families to determine if they are indeed human remains.
• Johnson’s bond hearing is scheduled for Tuesday, November 19.
• The district attorney is planning to ask for a continuance of this hearing until January 8, 2025 in the hopes that  all the bodies will have been identified  by then and family members can attend the hearing.

Dare you not to cry

The holidays always bring beautiful stories of generosity, and this one definitely does not disappoint. Last week, an anonymous “Secret Santa” gifted an Idaho woman with $1,000 in grocery gift cards, a car, and … a check to purchase a gravestone for her son.  A team from the East Idaho News presented these items to this sweet lady, identified only as “Theresa,” at the assisted living facility where she worked. The story explained that Theresa had lost her 21-year-old son just a few months ago to an asthma attack, and although she paid for his funeral, she was unable to afford a gravestone. If you don’t mind shedding a few happy tears, you can watch the heartwarming video here. By the way, the anonymous donor has designated a total of $1 million for all of these Secret Santa missions!

Try before you buy

A 120-year-old Japanese funeral home has added a new service to its offerings: an “into-the-coffin-cafe” experience that lets visitors lie as long as they’d like in one of three “elaborate coffins designed by the maker ‘Grave Tokyo.’” The owner hopes that the opportunity will help people feel “reborn” as they climb out of the coffin. He also believes that this experience could be especially helpful for depressed people or those considering suicide. 

Coming to Queens

Last week the Department of Veterans Affairs announced its 156th national cemetery; it’s the first to be opened in the past two years and also the first in the department’s urban initiative program. The cemetery, St. Albans National Cemetery and Columbarium, will open next spring in Queens, New York and will house 3,700 cremated remains. 

Coffin Rings & Black Holes | 4M #164

Welcome to the hundred-and-sixty-fourth edition of Morticians’ Monday Morning Mashup, 4M #164, where we’ll serve up bite-sized, easily-digestible nuggets of the deathcare news you need to crush conversations in the week ahead. Bon appetit!

Kiss it goodbye

It was learned last week that controversial politician Henry Kissinger, who died at the ripe old age of 100 last year, requested in his will that a “monument” be erected at his gravesite in Arlington Cemetery. However, that probably won’t happen, even though his four executors are backed with funds from an $80 million estate. Arlington’s regulations for markers are quite clear — and restrictive, especially when it comes to “private” endeavors. Kissinger reps have concluded that the eventual marker will be “limited to no more than 4 feet high, 4 feet wide, and 2 feet deep,” which is still larger than the cemetery’s traditional white military stones, which are 42 inches tall, 13 inches wide and 4 inches thick.

Mixed messages

Move over, cremation jewelry — there’s a new death-themed ring in town. It’s the “trendy” coffin-shaped engagement ring, and according to this press release, it’s “catching the eyes of an increasing number of young people, even surpassing traditional pear shapes to become the go-to choice for those seeking personalized engagement rings.” The Starland Boutique website, which features several styles with “coffin-cut” stones, says the intention is to signify that marriage is a “‘til death do us part” commitment.  

It could happen …

You guys know better than anyone that there are millions of ways to die, but have you ever considered what it would be like to die in space? More specifically, by falling into a black hole? Well, today’s your lucky day, because a YouTuber has quite thoroughly illustrated that potential demise — just as he has depicted dying by drinking too much water and what happens to your brain at death. In case you were wondering, bodies that fall into a black hole will be “spaghettified” — stretched to become taller and thinner — by the hole’s gravity force. Chances are you’ll never have to serve the family of a person who dies in a black hole, but just in case, I guess it’s good to know.

You already have the black ties

While we didn’t receive an invitation, we’re excited to read about the upcoming Undertakers Ball, an upcoming black-tie event that raises funds for funeral service student scholarships. Sponsored by the Undertakers Ball Association of St. Louis, an organization dedicated to celebrating funeral professionals, the event will include “fine dining, live music, in a ballroom setting” and “Saint Louis’ Elite society will be dressed to impress.” What an elegant and fun way to unwind, honor others, and support the profession!

Valuable lessons

Catholic high school students in Louisville, Kentucky have turned local cemeteries into a classroom of sorts, and they’re learning much more than math and science. Thanks to support from Catholic Charities, these students have taken on the responsibility of providing proper memorialization for the area’s indigent dead. Along with other community volunteers, the group regularly cleans up gravesites, installs memorials purchased by the charity, and facilitates Catholic memorial services.

This.

An article published last week by North Carolina Health News with the title “An embalmer worked by flashlight as Helene’s floodwaters rose” is an interview with Lonny Denny, a funeral director in one of the Ashe County communities that was devastated by Helene. It’s such a testament to your professions’ enduring dedication and servant hearts. 

Coffin Cheese & Million Dollar Metals | 4M #159

Welcome to the hundred-and-fifty-ninth edition of Morticians’ Monday Morning Mashup, 4M #159, where we’ll serve up bite-sized, easily-digestible nuggets of the deathcare news you need to crush conversations in the week ahead. Bon appetit!

Rocket’s man

An attempted DIY pet cremation is thought to have sparked a huge wildfire that spread for 11 square miles and caused $200k in damages. The partially burned remains of a dog were found along with a rock etched with the words “Rocket Dog, Rest in Peace Buddy.” Rocket’s owner has been arrested and is charged with arson and trespassing.

Jute genius

A UK inventor has patented a pretty cool lightweight, prefabricated coffin that packs flat until it’s ready to be assembled — a process that takes only two minutes. According to the manufacturer, Oasis Coffins, these jute-over-bamboo coffins became available in the U.S. in September.

Let this cheese stand alone

Back in 2003, archaeologists opened a 3600-year-old coffin they had excavated from a cemetery in China, finding within the mummified corpse of a young woman. Laid across her neck was a string of something that looked like decorative rock-like jewelry. It took 21 years, but scientists have finally identified the substance on the necklace — and it’s cheese. Specifically, kefir cheese. And now it’s officially the world’s oldest cheese.

Millions in metals

It’s a simple fact: there is money to be made in cremation metals recycling. It was reported last week that Japanese cities collected $45 million by recycling metals last year. And that’s not even every city; that total amount was earned by less than half (48%) of the country’s 88 major cities. It seems that allocation of the proceeds is up to the cities rather than at the federal level, as the report stated that “some cities sell these collected materials to pay for public cremations.” Way to recycle, reuse, and pay it forward!

One year ago on October 4 …

It’s hard to believe that a year has passed since we learned of the atrocious conditions at the Return to Nature green burial facility in Penrose, Colorado. For families of those whose remains were discovered inside that building last October, this past year has been excruciating and unforgettable, as some are still waiting for positive identification of their loved ones. However, some elements of this story do seem to be nearing closure, as Return to Nature owners Jon and Carie Hallford are expected to appear in court later this month to address plea deals that would keep them in jail on both state and federal charges. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKxkLKggTlo

Here’s a good news story for a change.

New Zealand seniors are forming Coffin Clubs to build their own coffins, adding their personal style with paint and other decorations for when the time comes when they might need to use it.

The do-it-yourself movement began in 2010, started by a palliative care nurse, Katie Williams, in a makeshift workshop in her garage in Rotorua, on the North Island. She got some volunteer handymen to help local seniors build their own coffins — they are made from particleboard kits and are shaped like traditional caskets or as rectangles.

“Because of my work and my age I had become a perpetual mourner,” Williams told The Guardian newspaper.

“I had seen lots of people dying and their funerals were nothing to do with the vibrancy and life of those people,” she said. “You would not know what they were really like. That they had lived and laughed and loved. I had a deep-seated feeling that people’s journey’s deserved a more personal farewell.”

“I’m going down with Elvis,” says this Coffin Club member.

There are now more than a dozen coffin clubs in New Zealand. Seniors found it was fun painting and decorating their own coffins and a great way for many lonely seniors to socialize with others in the same age group, many of whom had loved one pass away.

“We like to say it is only a box until you put someone in it,” one woman told the New York Times in a story published earlier this year.

The boxes can also double as furniture at home — one woman uses hers as a seating area with cushions.

The coffin kits cost about $170, much less than what a funeral home charges for a coffin of similar quality. Club membership ranges from $7 to $17 a year.