The start of a new year brings the chance to start fresh…But are you ready to shake things up?!

We get it – being a funeral professional can be emotionally draining… Pair that with an unpredictable, ever-changing schedule and it’s the perfect recipe to slip into the comfort zone of the familiar. 

But, in a world increasingly seeking connection and personalization, the funeral profession stands at a pivotal moment. Families are no longer satisfied with traditional, one-size-fits-all services. 

Let these quotes be your fuel as we trade tradition for transformation, routine for resonance, and predictable goodbyes for meaningful experiences that stay with families long after the service ends.

1. “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.” – Steve Jobs

Fuel your passion by creating meaningful experiences for the families you serve.

As a funeral professional, you have the unique ability to help people during one of the most difficult times in their lives. Let this year be a reminder that every arrangement, every service, and every comforting word you offer makes a profound difference. Focus on the impact you’re making in the lives of others and let that be your driving force.

Put it to use: Close your eyes for a moment. Recall a funeral service you directed that truly resonated with the family. Remember the details: the way they laughed through tears, the heartfelt tributes, the unexpected moment of connection that brought them comfort. What specific elements made that service impactful? Was it the personalized music playlist you curated? The handwritten poem? The nature-inspired ceremony hosted under a favorite tree?

Ask yourself: How can I replicate the impact of that moment, and amplify it in future services?

2. “If I had asked my customers what they wanted, they would have said a faster horse.” – Henry Ford

Listen to unspoken needs. Craft personalized experiences that transcend tradition.

Don’t get stuck offering the same old casket-and-eulogy combo. Families may not know exactly what they need during a time of grief and may express a desire for the familiar – the “faster horse”. 

Like Henry Ford’s revolutionary approach to automobiles, as a funeral professional you can transform customary practices into more personalized, meaningful experiences. 

How? By listening to families’ unspoken needs and  using your expertise and compassion to lead them towards more fitting tributes and healing experiences.

Maybe they truly crave a confetti-filled celebration of life or a quiet nature walk in remembrance. 

Put it to use: During your next arrangement conference, don’t just ask families what they “want.” Dig deeper with open-ended questions like “What made your loved one’s heart sing?” or “What memory makes you smile the most?” These answers will ignite the spark for crafting a uniquely personal service.

3. “All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney

Embrace innovation and dream big. Make goodbyes truly unforgettable.

Dreaming of a better way to serve families? Or of transforming the way society approaches end-of-life celebrations? Don’t let fear clip your wings! Disney dared to imagine talking mice and flying elephants – and look where it got him. 

Your dreams might seem daunting, but they’re within reach if you dare to chase them. Embrace the challenge, knowing your work holds profound importance. Like Walt Disney, who transformed the realm of entertainment, your courage can impact and transform funerals in ways yet unimagined.

Put it to use: Get in the habit of writing down your ideas – no matter how outlandish they seem and encourage your team to do the same. Then, gather your team, swap ideas, and brainstorm ways to make goodbyes truly meaningful.  Remember, even the smallest spark can ignite a brighter future of meaningful farewells. So, share your ideas, collaborate, and put your ideas into action.

4. “The comfort zone is nothing else but a graveyard for your dreams & ideas.” – Anonymous

Step outside your comfort zone. Create experiences that resonate and heal.

Comfort zones are limiting…The moment you take a step out of your comfort zone, is the moment things will shift for you. 

As you navigate your daily role as a funeral professional, challenge yourself to step beyond the familiar. It might be adopting a new technology, exploring innovative ways to conduct services, or engaging in community outreach. Your growth will not only enrich your services but will also deeply impact the families you serve.

So take the leap, break the mold and get uncomfortable. 

Put it to use: Pick one thing that scares you (whether it’s incorporating a new form of personalization or hosting a public grief workshop). Set a goal to try it this quarter – and let’s see what magic you can make.

5. “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

Empathy, compassion, and genuine connection are paramount in funeral service.

Words often fall short in the face of grief. But the solace you offer, the empathy you radiate, the genuine connection you build – those stay etched in hearts forever. So, this year, focus on being present, on listening without judgment, on offering a shoulder to cry on and a hand to hold. Let your compassion be your guiding star, and watch as you leave an indelible mark on the families you serve.

Put it to use: Write down one specific way you can show more empathy during your next service. Maybe it’s offering a private moment of reflection or creating a space for sharing personal stories.

6. “Experiences are the new currency. People pay for experiences, not products.” – Anonymous

As a funeral professional, you’re not just offering services, you’re crafting memories that last a lifetime.

In today’s world, people value experiences over material possessions.  People crave meaningful moments, and as a funeral professional, you’re not just offering services, you’re crafting memories that last a lifetime. It’s about going beyond expectations and designing experiences that truly honor the deceased while mending hearts in the process. This is about more than fulfilling expectations; it’s about creating unforgettable healing experiences.

This shift from product to experience, from commodity to emotion, is what sets you apart. Embrace this change and elevate your services, remembering that emotion is the true currency of value. 

Put it to use: Challenge yourself to create one “experience-over-product” element for your next service. Brainstorm with your team and share your ideas in the comments below and let’s inspire each other to make every goodbye a meaningful masterpiece!

Beyond the Quotes: Take Action

Let these quotes be your catalyst… Experiment, brainstorm, and most importantly, connect with the families you serve. Let this be a year of innovation, excellence, and compassion. 

What are you committed to revolutionizing this year? Tell us in the comments below…

With the personal development industry exploding over the last few years, I’m sure you’ve heard the word “affirmations” before.

According to the English American Dictionary, to “affirm” is to state that something is true. 

Affirmations are a great tool to use when you feel yourself caught in a place of negativity, pessimism, drama, or judgement. They’re especially important for switching your mindset from being a “victim” of your circumstances, to a “creator” of them.

That’s why we thought it would be helpful to transform the funeral profession’s biggest challenges into affirmations to empower us. 

Keep reading below for 5 challenges we see the funeral profession facing now, into empowering affirmations for our transformation:

The Struggle: “I can’t keep up with all the changes happening in the funeral profession.” 

The Affirmation: “Change is the first step of evolution, and I’m so excited to witness the evolution of the funeral profession.”

Change is a constant in our profession, that’s an important, but harsh truth to remember. And why feel overwhelmed, when you can flip the perspective and get excited? Did you know that modern psychology says the energy of anxiety and excitement are the same? It’s true, you can read about it here. So buckle up and enjoy the ride!

The Struggle: “Families are just looking for the lowest priced services or no service at all.” 

The Affirmation: “Families want something different, and I am committed to finding out what it is that they’re looking for. ”

If your families aren’t choosing any of your services or opting for direct cremation, it’s not because they don’t want any services. They just don’t see enough value in your current offerings to invest it. This can be another harsh truth, yet easily flipped. What if you changed your offerings based on families needs? What if you kept testing offerings until families were knocking down your door for your services? Failure is just a nudge in another direction. So go forth and don’t be afraid to fail!

The Struggle: “The funeral industry is dying!” 

The Affirmation: “The funeral industry is having a rebirth!”

This one requires another simple switch in your mindset. Doesn’t this feel much more empowering than focusing on the struggle? It’s a revolution, my friends. Time to embrace it!

The Struggle: “I’m a funeral director… not a therapist.” 

The Affirmation: “As a funeral director I am here to support families on their grief journey, and I recognize that it takes building a relationship with my families in order to support them.”

With families seeking more experience-based support, and less product-based support, it can feel overwhelming for funeral directors to understand this switch. Many funeral pros on social media have shared that offering grief or aftercare support is beyond their scope. But the truth is, this kind of experience based support is becoming our scope. Time to get familiar with it.

The Struggle: “I’m just not able to educate families on the value of our services anymore.” 

The Affirmation: “I am becoming educated on the value of my services by listening to my families.”

One of our audience’s biggest struggles was educating families on the value of a funeral service (check out the other top struggles here). Educating families is important. However, what if we allowed our families to educate us? What if we used active listening skills, interviews and testimonials to hear what families are truly looking for from us? Now that would be a game changer!

How to use these affirmations

Since you’re reading this post, you’re probably part of the 10% of our profession is creating the future of funerals. Since you ARE the change we are looking for in our profession, it’s your responsibility to use these affirmations as much as possible! If you see anyone else getting caught on the struggle bus, help them switch their struggle to an affirmation! Try it and let us know how it goes in the comments below! 🙂

What are your favorite affirmations for the modern funeral director? Tell us in the comments below!

Nothing speaks wisdom like hard earned lessons learned.

And these 4 funeral professionals have some wisdom to share on one of the biggest topics right now… creating an unforgettable family (or customer) experience.

Why waste any time?

Let’s dive straight into the lessons from some of our favorite funeral professionals out there:

Lesson #1: Ask lots of questions to understand your families’ needs… then listen deeply to the answers

You might think that client families don’t want to talk much because of their grief and sadness. You might think they’re not interested in what you have to offer and just want to get the service over with. You might feel shy around asking deep questions that go beyond the normal “customer service” experience. 

And if you feel this sort of way about any of the above situations, we completely understand why. The way business has worked for so long has been direct, sales focused and customer centric. 

However now, sales IS service. Customers ARE friends and family. Deep questions ARE great customer service. It’s time to transcend the confines of the old client family journey, and treat every family like they are friends.

One business that is a great example of this is Eterneva. They begin every journey with their customers asking tons of questions about their loved one. And they stay up to date with them through every step of the journey.

Co-Founder of Eterneva, Adelle Archer, explained her process with us:

“When someone calls us, we don’t talk about diamonds. We just sit them down and ask them to tell us about their loved one. What made them special? You wouldn’t decide to make a diamond for just anyone.”

Now, Eterneva is a huge success in the funeral profession and their secret sauce is certainly this level of care and communication. Take this example below, where you see the closeness and frequency of communication they maintain with their client families, including them in every step of the service.

Lesson #2: Never assume a direct cremation family doesn’t want to create a meaningful experience

Industry expert Walker Posey, Posey Funeral Directors, believes that direct cremation is a result of lack of proper education on their options (among other reasons that he explains here). 

His biggest piece of wisdom that hit us hard is this:

“Today, many funeral directors simply don’t have the courage or skill to stop being an order taker and become the true advisor that client families actually expect to deal with. When a family comes in and sits down across from an order taker, they have no choice but to accept the inadequate options that are presented. The idea of associating cremation with limited or no service is very under-serving to the families who call on us and this habit must be stopped.”

Read More: Walker Posey Shares The REAL Reason Families Choose Direct Cremation

Lesson #3: Have affordable, easy personalization options available for families 

Now that we understand a direct cremation family isn’t necessarily what we think it is, let’s talk about offerings. What kind of options can you provide families with who choose direct cremation?

According to funeral director Joe Pray of Pray Funeral Home, props are a great start:

“We recommend investing in minimal props and elements that could work for most creative personalized services you plan. In many cases, the family will gladly pay the cost of the creative things that you suggest for the service. In some cases, the cost may be paid by the funeral home. Many props you develop for a creative service can be re-used for other services. The benefit will be well worth the expense in the eyes of the family and their guests.”

Pray Funeral Home is known in their community for holding extraordinary services with high levels of personalization and tons of meaning for families. This level of service translates into plenty of opportunities for growth, especially when it comes to their client families’ raving reviews. So next time you feel deflated by a direct cremation family, grab your props and educate families on their options!

Read More: 6 Service-Oriented Alternatives To Direct Cremation

Pray Funeral Home offered client families a chance to play “one last pool game” in honor of their loved one.

Lesson #4: Cooperate with local businesses rather than compete with them

It might seem counterintuitive to collaborate with businesses that do similar things as you. But think about it from the client families’ perspective. What would provide them the utmost care and support? A continuum of support from their community that is woven with care, or many separate services they have to seek out on their own to find support? We think the latter sounds much more difficult!

Take it from Felicity Warner,  the founder of Soul Midwives and the Soul Midwives School, who loved collaborating with funeral homes:

“Increasingly, we are working with funeral directors. One of the reasons is that people are very keen to see a line of continuous care for their loved ones… right through to the funeral and beyond.

Recently I worked with a family who were very keen to keep their father at home for three days, allowing him to “rest” with the family around him. The funeral director was fantastic; we worked with him very closely. He helped in every way that he could, popping in and keeping a very close eye and suggesting exactly the right moment for the body to be removed and with great delicacy and tenderness.”

Read More: We Interviewed a Soul Midwife to Discuss the Mind, Body & Soul Journey of Death

Put it all together, and what do you get?

There seems to be a common denominator between all of these funeral pros. Can you sense it? What is it that creates a successful client family journey? We’d love to hear the nuggets you pulled from this, and the lessons you learned! 

Share them with us in the comments below 🙂

Pssst…Need a website that offers a foundation of service?

Try the funeral profession’s #1 all-in-one website platform, f1Connect. If you’re interested in learning more about the f1Connect website platform, reach out to one of our Funeral Success Specialists today!

Let’s be honest, there’s nothing fun about arranging a funeral service. Many families have never been responsible for planning a funeral and have no idea what steps they need to take.

As we’ve discussed before, families usually start with a Google search for a funeral home in their area (97% of consumers do). They’ll begin looking for information that helps them to decide which firm to call.

After the second or third site, the web pages start blurring together. All of the funeral homes start to look the same – they’ll talk about their facilities, staff and fleets and have lists of obituaries – but nothing really engaging or helpful.

And then they click on your funeral home website. Right there, on the homepage, the content is speaking to them, educating them on the value of your services right off the bat. So how can you present your services in an engaging way? Read on to find out!

1. Incorporate video on your website

Did you know that website visitors are four times more likely to pay attention to your content when it’s presented in the form of video rather than simply reading it? Remember this as you create content to present your funeral home’s services and products on your website.

By creating a video that explains the value of funeral services and shows some pretty amazing possibilities, you’ll keep families on your website longer, help them envision their options, and you’ll be more likely to convert them into customers. (A Forrester study shows that adding video to your website makes your site six times more likely to convert a casual “browser” into a paying client).

Above, you can see Posey Funeral Directors strategically placed an inspiring video on their homepage to engage potential client families.

2. Use a Life Exploration Tool

More than ever, families are interested in celebrating their loved one’s life in a unique way, so make sure your site communicates how you can help them do just that. You could offer an interactive way for website visitors to browse all of the different funeral service options – from the traditional funeral to sending their ashes into space. Show them the possibilities are endless!

Here is an example of a Life Exploration Tool on Moran & Goebel Funeral Home & Cremation Service’s website that shows families all the different possibilities for celebrating life.

3. Create funeral service packages

Not only is putting your services together in packages good for your business, but it’s also good for families too. Consider sorting different products and services you offer into levels – or even better – type of memorializations. For example, you could have packages based on the level of personalization. Or, you could create “themed” packages based on religion, hobbies / interests, family role, etc. Wedding planners use this type of pricing to take away the guesswork for their customers and to help sell a la carte services that are valuable yet often overlooked.

4. Make sure your website mobile-optimized

With the rise of smartphone usage, it’s more important than ever that your website is mobile optimized for families in need. There’s no telling where your potential client families will be when they’re in need of your services. If your website isn’t mobile optimized so they can see all of your funeral home’s options on-the-go, chances are they’ll probably leave your website for one that is optimized for mobile. Add in the fact that 59% of mobile users who find you on their mobile phone will visit your business (61% of them will call) and our case is closed.

Graceland Fairlawn mobile site makes contacting them as simple as a click of a button.

Instead of listing your product offerings on your mobile website (which could be too much content for mobile users), just provide an easy way for families to contact you. This way,  you can get them on the phone to discuss their funeral arrangements.

5. Use your flat screen TVs to show to your advantage

I’ve seen a huge trend where funeral homes are beginning to place flat screen TV’s in a prominent location at their firm. This is a great idea because you can strategically use your TV’s to show off your funeral home’s offerings. Every tribute video, funeral webcast, personalized service or video testimonial you play on your flat screen gives you another opportunity to market your services to funeral guests and families in need. Who knows how many conversations- and sales – the videos you play on your flat screen will spark!

6. Hold an online conference with key family members

Ever have family members who didn’t live near their loved one, so they couldn’t be a part of the funeral arrangement process? Well, thanks to Facetime, Zoom, Whatsapp and Skype, the limits of location know no bounds. Now you can show all family members your different service options using video or screen sharing.

7. Share examples of previous funeral services

The best way to help families envision what their funeral service can be, is to share examples of previous services. We’re not asking you to take pictures of the loved one or their family, but share images of the memorial service’s set up and all of the personal touches that were incorporated. For example, take pictures of a unique service or a special luncheon you held. And don’t forget to show families examples real-life examples of your tribute videos and personalized print items.

Pray Funerals does a great job of displaying their creative personalization options on their website.

Last Thoughts…

Whether you decide to show your families your unique service options online, offline or both, the key is to educate them on the value of everything you offer. Rather than simply focusing on disposition methods, talk to them about the benefits associated with all of the products and services you offer. For further help showing your families all of your unique options, and presenting them in an engaging way, check out some of these articles:

And don’t forget… educating families about the value of your services and showcasing their options all starts with the right website. Click here or give us a call at 800-798-2575, ext. 5 to learn more about funeralOne’s all-in-one f1Connect Website Platform.

How does funeral home showcase your service options? Tell us in the comments below!

Green funerals. 

A topic gaining HUGE momentum amongst client families. 

It seems like everyone is talking about mushroom burial suits and turning themselves into a tree when they die, these days.

As much as the buzz means some true and real change is needed in the funeral profession, there are also challenges to doing things differently than we’ve always done them. 

So is it worth it to explore these trends?

Our short answer: yes. 

But we’re not ones to just tell you what we think without telling you why we think like that. 

So let’s dive into some of the risks traditional cremation & burial pose, and the compelling opportunities green funerals present:

The current state of traditional cremation

#1: Cremation is the most popular disposition option in the US, with 56.1% of people choosing it (source).

Cremation offers a more affordable alternative to traditional burial. However…

#2: Traditional cremation produces 1.74 billion pounds of CO2 emissions annually in the United States (source).

#3: Cremation releases toxic chemicals into the air and water such as mercury and creates byproducts of nitrogen oxide, dioxins, and particulates (source).

#4: Not only does cremation put the environment at risk, but its workers too. In fact, cremation workers have a higher than average incidence of COPD (Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease), respiratory diseases, and neurological disorders (source).

#5: One single cremation emits as much gas as a 500 mile car trip (source).

Turns out America’s favorite disposition method brings some major environmental concerns.

Facts about traditional burials

According to the Green Burial Council, annually, conventional burials in the United States use approximately…

• 4.3 million gallons of embalming fluid (827,060 gallons of which is formaldehyde, methanol, and benzene)
• 20 million board feet of hardwoods (including rainforest woods)
• 1.6 million tons of concrete
• 17,000 tons of copper and bronze
• and 64,500 tons of steel

In addition to all the bad news above, traditional burial workers, and embalmers in particular, have a 13% higher death rate, are at 8x higher risk for leukemia, and 3x higher risk for ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis) compared to the general population (sources 1, 2 & 3).

So we get it. Traditional cremation and burial are pretty unsustainable for the environment long term. But if changing gears seems unrealistic right now, is it really worth shifting your offerings? Let’s explore this very question below.

The demand for green funerals

Green funerals. Is there really a demand? Let’s look at the facts:

According to a survey from the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), 72% of cemeteries are reporting an increased demand for green burial practices. 

According to another NFDA survey, around 61% of people would be interested in exploring “greener” funeral options because of their potential environmental benefits and cost savings.

If that’s not reason enough, let’s look at the revenue numbers. In 2021, the global green funerals market size was $571.54 million…and it’s expected to reach $1214.53 million revenue by 2030 (source).

So it seems there is an opportunity for helping out Mother Earth, and also tapping into a very sought out market.

Convinced to reconsider tapping into these green funeral trends? 

Whether you’ve just lost someone or you’re a funeral home owner, let’s dive into these 4 green funeral trends: 

The green alternatives to traditional burial & cremation

Green Funeral Trend #1: Simple Green Burial

What it is: According to the Green Burial Council, a green burial is:

A way of caring for the dead with minimal environmental impact that aids in the conservation of natural resources, reduction of carbon emissions, protection of worker health, and the restoration and/or preservation of habitat. Green burial necessitates the use of non-toxic and biodegradable materials, such as caskets, shrouds, and urns.

Some common types of green burial options:

• Simple Wooden Casket
• Cardboard Containers
• Woven Caskets
• Shrouds
• Tree pods

Although most of these options are pretty self explanatory, one worth mentioning that works a bit differently is called Capsula Mundi Tree Pods. Although still in concept phase, these tree pods make it possible for you to literally become a tree when you die.

All of these options offer families a way to respectfully bury their dead, but without all the chemicals, toxic waste and resources it takes to build a traditional coffin. 

Interested in learning more about green burial options? Check out the thought leaders on the topic such as Green Burial Society and Green Burial Council to learn more about your options.

Interesting fact: At this point in time, nearly 54 percent of Americans are considering a green burial. There has been a large increase in the number of folks desiring green burial practices over the years. 

Green Funeral Trend #2: Mushroom Burial Suits

What it is: According to this publication, a Mushroom Burial suit is:

A biodegradable burial shroud made from mushroom spores. The spores are designed to help decompose the body and filter toxins from it, so it does not contaminate surrounding plant life after a body is buried in it”.

Unless you’ve been hiding under a cave the last 7 years, you may have heard of the new green burial option everyone is talking about: the mushroom burial suit. The mushroom burial suit gained a lot of traction after Beverly Hills 90210 Star Luke Perry was buried in one. 

How it works: According to industry leader, Eterneva…

A mushroom burial suit is made from organic cotton mixed with mushroom spores. They can be stored in a cool, dark, and dry place for years before use, so you don’t have to wait until your twilight years to purchase one. 

Once a human body is resting in the ground in a mushroom burial suit, mushroom spores and other microorganisms begin to break down the body and turn the body into enzymes. These enzymes can then nourish the soil and help plant life thrive, leaving behind a fruitful legacy even after our loved one has passed.

If you haven’t heard of mushroom burial suits yet and are curious, check out the Ted Talk below:

Interesting fact: A mushroom burial suit costs between $1,000 and $3,500 less than a traditional or green burial plot or casket! Talk about a cooler, cheaper option!

Green Funeral Trend #3: Green Cremation

What it is: According to Green cremation is:

A gentle, eco-friendly alternative to flame-based cremation. Just like with traditional cremation, the body is reduced to ashes, which are then returned to the family. However, no flames are used during the Green Cremation process, making it the more natural choice.

Green cremation has several nicknames such as aquamation or resomation. We’re finding this type of cremation to be gaining a lot of traction since gas prices have spiked. What’s awesome about this option is that because there’s no heat involved, there is also no gas production involved either. Say hello to a smaller carbon footprint!

How it works: According to the Guardian…

With aquamation, or “alkaline hydrolysis”, the body of the deceased is immersed for three to four hours in a mixture of water and a strong alkali, such as potassium hydroxide, in a pressurized metal cylinder and heated to around 150C.

The process liquifies everything except for the bones, which are then dried in an oven and reduced to white dust, placed in an urn and handed to relatives.

Interesting fact: Green cremation uses “roughly 20% of the energy that flame-based cremation does” 

Green Funeral Trend #4: Body Composting

What it is: According to Recompose, the company leading the way in human composting, it:

Uses a process called natural organic reduction to transform human remains into soil. This soil can then be used to regenerate the earth that supports us our whole lives.

How it works: The process of “recomposing” is pretty simple as explained by Recompose. The first step is to “lay the body in a vessel surrounded by wood chips, alfalfa, and straw. The vessel is closed and the transformation into soil begins”. 

Next, “the body and plant material remain in the vessel for 30 days. Microbes power change on the molecular level, resulting in the formation of a nutrient-dense soil.” 

When the body is complete in its recomposition process, it then turns into 1 cubic yard of “soil amendment” which then cures for 2-6 weeks. Lastly, the soil is returned to its rightful place in nature, helping to “ restore forests,sequester carbon, and nourish new life”.

To experience for yourself a visit to a human composting facility, check out this video:

Interesting fact:  Between .84 and 1.4 metric tons of carbon dioxide will be saved each time someone chooses human composting over traditional burial.

Other Green Funeral Trends

While we only talked about some main green funeral trends that are gaining major momentum in the press and in the funeral profession, there are plenty of other beautiful green funeral options out there still gaining traction. 

If you’re a green funeral company we’d love to hear from you! Or, if you have any green funeral trends to share, we’d love to hear about them in the comments below.

Are you ready to step up your game in your funeral business, but aren’t sure how?!

We’ve got you covered. 

We’ve collected some of our favorite books on communication, holding space, emotional intelligence, loss, grief and leadership (some of the most important habits of a successful funeral pro) to help you spark some fresh motivation!

Why wait? Let’s dive right in and see where you can expand your skill set:

Hello, Goodbye: 75 Rituals for Times of Loss, Celebration and Change

Review snippet: “Day Schildkret’s book Hello, Goodbye is the most direct and moving guide to ritual that I have ever read. . . Here you will find simple, evocative, original, powerful rituals for bedtimes and seasons, for new names and new homes, for birthing and coming out, for growing up and grieving—but not only rituals. . . . You just might discover a way to live more consciously, with feeling and gratitude.” 

– Rabbi Jill Hammer, PhD, author of The Jewish Book of Days: A Companion for All Seasons

Why we love it: If there is one thing we can acquaint ourselves with to make it through this modern society we live in, its ritual. There are rituals for every kind of loss in this book, and that’s why it’s such an important companion to the modern seeker. As religion declines and spirituality increases, we are being asked to lean on ancient wisdom and trust in its ability to hold us through it all. This book is that invitation and more.

Who this book is for: Funeral professionals who want to support families with rituals, and anyone who desires a feeling of safety and support through transitions and loss

Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

Review snippet: “I’ve read a ton of non-fiction and business minded books and they all seem to have the secret to getting more out of your life, your business, your relationships, etc. That’s all well and good, but the most effective changes – coincidentally – may in fact take the least amount of brainpower. They come in the form of habits, ways our brain have been wired to do things naturally and without thinking, and more importantly, small, daily or near-daily actions that trigger reward centers in our brain.”

Why we love it: If we want to be successful in our business, we need to recognize that our success is directly related to the choices we make each day. Atomic Habits offers a space to consider and bring awareness to these choices. Is staying up late watching Netflix and drinking wine when you have 2 calls the next day the path to success? Probably not. Sounds like more of a coping mechanism to cover up deeper feelings and emotions. This book is truly a gem in helping you to create a more conscious lifestyle that supports a more conscious, successful business. Hands down. Don’t miss this book!

Who it’s for: Funeral business owner and leaders in the funeral industry. We are leaning on you to create some new trends for all of us steeped in consciousness and mindfulness please!

21.5 Unbreakable Laws of Selling

Review snippet: “If you are in sales, this book and everything that Jeffrey has ever published is a “must-have” for your library and for your success on the job. You’ll learn the true meaning of Jeffrey trade-marked saying: “People hate to be sold but they love to buy!”

Why we love it: Sales is a part of the job as a funeral professional, no matter how much you hate it. No one wants to sell to a grieving person. Some of us may have some ethical challenges around it. However, what if you saw selling as service? This book really helps to support you in making that mindset shift so you can better your sales techniques by serving your families better. Check it out and see for yourself!

Who it’s for: The funeral professional who resists sales but knows they need sales skills to survive in their job or funeral business.

Holding Space: On Loving, Dying, and Letting Go

Review snippet: “This is a beautifully written book about the challenging practice of remaining present—holding non-reactive space—around emotions of grief, sorrow and loss. This practice is brought alive through many touching vignettes from the author’s life and work as a hospital chaplain and as a doula for the poignant transitions of birth and death. I recommend Holding Space highly for hospice workers, religious and medical professionals, and for anyone facing personal loss.” 

—Jan Chozen Bays, Mindfulness on the Go and Mindful Eating

Why we love it: As we step into a new era of funeral service, we must ask ourselves what it truly means to hold space for death. It’s no longer an option to lean on tradition. Families want more. They demand more. And this book helps you to understand where they’re coming from, and the importance of having the ability to hold space well figured out. Plus, it’s a deeply inspiring read with lots of anecdotal stories along the way.

Who it’s for: The funeral professional who knows tradition isn’t the way anymore, but they’re not sure how to show up and level up their service for their families.

Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience

Review snippet: “This levels the playing field by providing a common language for communicating emotions by helping you understand the nuance between words we often use incorrectly or interchangeably. A valuable relationship tool to understand your own emotions, for parents and teachers to provide children with the opportunity to learn early how to communicate what they’re feeling, for families, partners, leaders… for everyone. Could we reset the culture and start from here, please?”

Why we love it: Brene Brown is one of my favorite authors, so I may be biased, but this book should be a manual for all death care workers. Having the ability to speak to and hold complicated, nuanced emotions and feelings is a super power. And not many of us have that skill naturally. So use this book as an atlas to guide you to have deeper conversations with your families, and show up for them better and more equipped with solid emotional intelligence at play.

Who it’s for: We really recommend this book to funeral professionals who shy away from deep emotions and have a hard time putting language to deeper, nuanced experiences that they’re client families are experiencing.

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships

Review snippet: “Marshall Rosenberg’s dynamic communication techniques transform potential conflicts into peaceful dialogues and create compassionate connections. I highly recommend this book.”  

— John Gray, Ph.D., author of Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus

Why we love it: This book is the ABC-123 of conscious communication. The Microsoft CEO requires every leader on his team to read this book and master non-violent communication. Not only will you be more equipped to handle conflicts, but you’ll be better able to mediate any complaints from families. With this book and its skill set offered, you can be a true leader!

Who it’s for: Ideally, a leader in any funeral business or organization, or anyone who considers themselves to be a leader.

Over to you

We hope these books inspire you in some way, or give you hope in some way. When we stop learning, we become stagnant in life and in business. Our prayer is that we all learn and grow together by learning from one another, and leaders in the fields we feel we’re lacking.

What other books have helped you to become a better funeral professional or death care worker? Tell us in the comments below!

On the 4th of July we celebrate independence, freedom and liberation.

This holiday is often accompanied by ribs and beer, fireworks and family gatherings.

But, before you fire up your grill, let’s take this opportunity to think about some ways we can liberate the funeral profession from any limitations or shackles it has held for too long.

Defining liberation

Before we dive into how to liberate the funeral profession, let’s get on the same page of what liberation truly means. According to the dictionary, liberation can be defined as “the act of setting someone free from imprisonment, slavery, or oppression; release.” Another definition offered is “freedom from limits on thought or behavior”. 

Now that we’re on the same page, let’s explore some ways we can stop limiting ourselves and each other through limited thinking.

First of all, let’s talk about tradition.

If you really want to liberate yourself and this entire profession, we must first liberate ourselves from the traditions which no longer serve us. It’s not up to us, the writers of this piece, to decide which traditions no longer serve you personally. However, I do tend to think that anything that keeps us rigid, inflexible, unadaptable and stuck, needs to go. If we stay rigid, how can we evolve? 

Evolution requires adaptation. And without evolution, we become stale and stagnant. So ask yourself: what traditions are keeping me from evolving with the changes the world is seeing? How can I release myself from them?

Read more: 11 Tweets About Traditional Funerals That Show Things Are Definitely Changing…

Second, let’s do away with top-down company structures

As we enter into a world that’s innovating itself from the bottom up, we must assume it’s also our job to do the same. Innovation certainly doesn’t always begin at the top of your company. Innovation only truly happens in a collaborative environment. 

If your funeral home’s employees don’t have a say in the future of your funeral business, it’s a problem. Because let’s face it, you’re only as good as your employees. You can’t innovate without them. So make them a part of your innovative plans and let their true innate gifts shine. 

Read more: Superhero Leadership: How You Can Make the World a Better Place At Your Funeral Home

Third, let’s invite in the matriarchal approach to death

As we enter into a new way of the funeral profession, we can’t help but notice the amount of women entering into this profession. And as women infiltrate the funeral profession, we must ask ourselves one thing. 

The thing is: how can women enter the funeral profession without trying to be men? Many times, the way of the woman is much different than the way of the man. And both roles are important, and needed. However, we must remember that women are not men. There is a different pace, structure and way of a woman than a man. 

And instead of making the same mistakes that many other industries have made, I invite us to embrace the matriarchal way of death. In other industries, such as politics, women enter the industry trying to be like men. And it doesn’t work! We truly need a feminine way in the funeral profession, too. It’s important and meaningful. Both are important. But right now, to truly liberate ourselves, we must celebrate and invite in the matriarchal approach to death.

Read more: What If Women Ran The Funeral Profession? 10 Predictions Made

Happy 4th of July to the funeral pros out there

May we all liberate ourselves from all the ways we limit ourselves and our capabilities, as well as others. 

May we all stay open in our hearts and our minds and welcome change.

May we all remain compassionate towards ourselves and one another as we transition into new ways of doing things.

May we all be happy, and free.

How do you think it would look to liberate the funeral profession? Tell us in the comments below!

It’s hard enough growing up in today’s world. So many choices, and so many come too soon, it takes both parents focusing hard on a child’s well-being to help them navigate the 21^st century speed of life. Things our parents never expected us to have to think about at age 11 or age 15 are things they now encounter in their daily choices years sooner.

When a child experiences the loss of a parent due to their sudden passing or as the result of a lingering illness, they have a limited amount of understanding and resilience about how to be strong in the face of adversity and true pain. One of two constants in their lives that they counted on from their beginning is now, suddenly, gone, never to be seen again.

At any point in childhood, the means of coping with a parent’s death depends on three things: a) a faith structure of the family, b) the role of other adults in their lives, and c) the age that the child has to accept the parent’s passing and ability to cope.

The younger the child, the easier the acceptance comes that either Mom or Dad is not here anymore. Sometimes the loss of a parent by divorce is the same as when they pass away if that other parent is no longer going to be a part of the child’s life anymore. Until a real routine gets established, whether it is beginning at kindergarten age and ritual of daily life goes on, or whether in infancy, the absence or presence of one more person going in or out of the life pattern you know is simply a change.

As a child gets older and develops a long-term personal identification and relationship with the person named Mom and Dad and identifies with that person as “theirs,” then that serious bonding has been creating that sets up as a real loss when one of those key people in their life is gone. In fortunate situations, grandparents and aunts and uncles also play key roles in the daily presence of children’s lives to the extent that a child’s world is changed drastically or minimally.

Rationalizing the absence of a parent is a coping mechanism that children use to get through day-to-day life. Emotionally speaking, the absence of a parent is something that a primary surviving parent cannot make up for as if the loss does not seem real. However, the sincerity of love can fill the void of their loss. It’s not a matter of having to double up to make it “not matter” that the other person is not there.

In fact, it is important to acknowledge the loss to that child, from the very beginning of the time where they can understand that there is a loss. Photographs of the missing parent, with the child, help that child to know there was another person in their life who loved them very much. And to understand that the person is no longer there, not because they didn’t want to be, but instead because they could not impact their leaving, is important. The presence of other family members and extended family can also help to fill in information gaps, to teach a child how much they are indeed like that “other parent” in the way they look, or sound, or speak, or are kind, or are talented in one area or another.

In life, we all build a self-image and self-concept based on a series of benchmarks that we see and that we like about ourselves and others. We emulate the good things we see about other people, and we reject things we see that we don’t like. Each of us is an amalgamation of faith and experiences that give us a playbook of things we pick and choose for our own lives when we are of age to make those decisions.

For the sake of closure, if a child loses a parent before the age of 21, there should be a ceremony, formal or informal, in a church or in a funeral home, or offsite on family property, where tribute is paid to the life of the person who was an integral means of bringing that child into the world. Some women die in childbirth, others have chronic diseases that take them away from their family too soon, others can die in a freak accident. Here today, gone tomorrow, with no time to prepare for a loss. In any setting, studies have shown the importance of acknowledging that absence as a true loss.

Some parents choose to skip having a formal funeral because they can barely deal with the grief themselves. They don’t want to be surrounded by people who are trying to comfort them because it makes the loss all the more real to them, and that’s a pain they are not prepared to handle. If you have family members like that, it helps to encourage them to go ahead with a ceremony or service of passage, to begin closure for their child, if not for themselves. Otherwise, there is a continuing sense of “something missing” that the child cannot put their finger on, but they know they didn’t have what others did.

Especially in these days when teenagers are in school with children, who for one tragic reason or another, a parent takes their own life, and the parent who sat to their parents in school assemblies is no longer there every day—there’s a loss that a classmate can relate to with their classmate.

That same parent they may have seen on campus dropping off their classmate for eight consecutive years, that they thought they knew, generally if not well, is gone. A ceremony helps with closure, and in fact, having many children who are friends or even acquaintances of that child can bring a classmate comfort just to see. Hearing from them that they liked or cared deeply about your parent is important, as it validates that they lived.

In cases where someone was harder to get to know or more of a loner, it helps a child to hear that that child’s classmate is sorry for their loss…the life they knew, if even briefly, counted. It cannot be emphasized enough how closure is the prelude to healing when a child loses a parent. Saying that parent’s name out loud, even if preceded with Mrs. Nolan or Mr. Everly or whatever their name, brings a vivid memory back to life.

For a mature child, from high school age to full adult, one published resource is “When Parents Die: A Guide for Adults” by Edward Myers. Although the book was revised and updated as long ago as 1997, frankly, it remains one of the most logical and practical ways of identifying and coping with all of the variety of emotions and feelings that come over you when that most important person, either by omission or commission in your lifetime with them, is gone. Things left unsaid. Advice not given. Memories not shared. Wisdom not recorded. These are areas of regret that come about when the child/adult is unprepared for the parent’s imminent absence from their daily life.

If a parent is aware that their days on earth are coming to an end, one thing you can do now, today, while you are able, is to write letters, leave notes, make voice recordings, use your phone to save many videos for your loved ones to have when you are no longer here. The gifts you leave like that can be saved back for your loved ones’ special occasions, such as high school graduation, college graduation, future/ultimate weddings, birth of a child, etc. That is something that will also bring someone comfort who finds their lifetime coming to an end more quickly than they had imagined.

Remembering and acknowledging the birthday of a friend’s parent or the anniversary of their passing (at least for the first few years) is also key to helping the grieving child cope. Saying it out loud, that “this is the day” of birth or death helps cement that yes, it is real, and yes, it is sad, but yes, it means that there was an amazing, special person they knew who created a series of memories and shared experiences together with that child that can replayed in their mind. Familiarity and repetition make an impact, eventually. Time brings healing. Time brings smiles where there were once tears. And your patience and ongoing, continuing friendship to your friends who have lost parents will make a difference that only you can make.

For the companion parent, there will eventually be a time when their life and daily routine will change. The process of possibly introducing a second parental figure into a marriage will happen and as long as the child knows that their birth parent will always be remembered and regarded will help ease the pain of what they can easily misconstrue as “taking mom’s or dad’s place,” when in fact no one can take the place of a person you loved who has died. You can add someone into your heart, but no one takes that other person’s place—ever. It takes time and experience to understand that, of course. We all do the best we can when there is a loss. The best case solution for a child who loses a parent, though, is persistence and patience in just simply being there for your friends and family. Friends you know who have been through this process can be a valued asset, so be sure to talk to them for advice if they are willing to share.

Cody D. Jones ‘02

Owner & Community Member

Customer service and client family support are the pillars of your funeral business. 

(And if you need the  science and research to prove it here ya go).

If you don’t already know that, this blog offers a great opportunity to learn more about what makes great customer service.

Below we’re going to cover some of the most important skills of customer service at your funeral home, and how you can put them to practice. We hope these skills inspire your level of customer service at your funeral home!

Check them out below:

#1: Epic communication skills

If you think being a “good” communicator is good enough, think again. Client families are in their most vulnerable, tender state during the times you work with them, so it’s important to have absolutely impeccable communication skills. 

We recommend taking a course on communication, or reading the book on Non Violent Communication (NVC) which helps you navigate tough moments & conflict like a champ.

Below is a breakdown of the NVC model, check it out for yourself:

#2: Emotional Intelligence

It’s one thing to fix a client family’s issue. It’s another thing to go the extra mile for them, because you put your feet in their shoes. One of our favorite examples is with the brand Chewy, a dog food brand. Although they aren’t a funeral business, this example sure is inspiring, and addresses the topic of death. 

In this example, one of their customer’s dog passed away, and they had an unopened bag of dog food left. What Chewy did in response left us speechless… (find out how they responded in the image below).

We love this example because it shows that a little more effort towards serving families goes a long way. This level of customer service is what creates a lifetime loyal customer base.

#3: Deep breaths

You’ll never underestimate the power of a deep breath until you’re in a moment where a deep breath saves the day. Tensions can be high when families are planning funeral arrangements. If you notice tension or stress, one of the best things you can do is take an audible deep breath, and invite them to do the same and pause before saying anything else. 

A deep breath not only helps to regulate your nervous system, but it also gives everyone a moment to take in what’s happening and find more presence. You can even invite your client families to take 1 or 3 deep breaths in a row, to regulate them. You’ll thank us later for this one!!!!

#4: The art of reflection

One of the greatest tools in the toolbelt: reflection. If a client family brings something to you, especially in a conflict, this tool is very helpful! Reflection is essentially repeating back to your client family or customer what you heard them say. It sounds stupidly simple, and it is, but who ever said simple wasn’t powerful? 

When you reflect back to your client families, it ensures you understood what they said correctly. And,  it helps them to clarify in themselves what they meant, too. And, sometimes, simply reflection can help resolve the issue on its own!

Here’s an example of reflection offering resolution on its own:

Client family: (visibly anxious & upset) I have no idea how I’ll manage to pay for my father’s funeral!?!?! 

Funeral director: (takes a deep breath) Thanks for letting me know that. So you’re saying that you are feeling uncertain about whether you’ll be able to pay for your dad’s funeral? 

Client family: That’s right. Well, actually, I do have some money in savings I could start with. Do you offer payment plans?

Funeral director: Yes we do! Let’s chat about them.

In this example, a simple reflection helped the client family realize that they didn’t actually have “no idea” how they were going to pay for the funeral. Instead, they realized they did have a little savings they could use, and the reflection helped them get inspired to ask about payment plans. These types of conversations are very common when you use reflection. Try for yourself and see.

#5: Responsibility (rather than deflection)

As we just discussed reflection above, it’s important to consider deflection, too. An example of deflection is that when a client family brings an issue they have with your funeral home or services, and you deflect it by:

• Ignoring it
• Invalidating it
• Avoiding it
• Telling them it’s their fault
• Saying it’s not your fault
• Avoiding responsibility for it

When it comes to customer service, anything other than a sincere apology or at least validating their experience is considered deflection. It’s very important to take responsibility for what is yours to take responsibility for in your funeral business. If something didn’t go well or right, own up to it, and try not to shame yourself for it. 

If you don’t feel it’s your responsibility for what has happened, offering a reflection (as mentioned above) and asking what you can do to assist them is a great place to start.

A great way to take responsibility is using NVC (mentioned in the beginning of this blog) saying:

• The observation (what you heard them say)
• Repeating back the request they made or the need they have
• Offering an apology
• Saying what you can offer them/how you can support them

Try this format and let us know how you go!

#6: Lastly, the willingness to adapt and learn

Who likes talking to a stubborn know-it-all? Not us, that’s for sure! That’s why it’s so important to avoid phrases like “Ma’am, this is how we’ve always done XYZ” or “Sorry, that’s our company policy”. We think adaptability and flexibility is crucial to great customer service. Otherwise, you can potentially lose a client family for good. 

When it comes to flexibility, one thing I always ask myself is: would I rather be right, or helpful? Hopefully the latter, and if so, flexibility and willingness to learn from your mistakes are foundational to being helpful.

What other skills do you feel are important to customer service at your funeral home? Let us know below!

Look deep into the eyes of a Veteran today. It’s not hard to find one across the Brazos Valley. For those over 60 years old, chances are good that they are wearing a ball cap with their service insignia on the bill. Maybe they are wearing an old service jacket to stay warm in our newly cold air outside.

Maybe there’s a look on their face of solitude and solemnity this day that has them quieter than usual…reflecting on a time where they all committed the same first step. They had a desire to make a difference in the world around them. The first Veterans Day was established at the end of World War I and is celebrated every November 11^th.

Military service during wartime is not a choice, but a necessity. Yet, in the past there was never a problem getting people to volunteer to enlist. In fact, many young men lied about their ages to actually gain entry into service rather than seek to find some convenient reason they could not serve their country. Many times those who might have a physical impediment that kept them from active military duty still found a way in other branches to be of service from the ground or behind a desk, all because they shared that same desire to serve.

In some families, military service is generational and it’s a natural expectation that sons and daughters will follow in their parents’ footsteps and enlist in a particular branch of service. For others who are the first in their families to enlist, the military is one of the best prospects to learn an important, relevant trade and to earn funds to continue education after military service is concluded. For other young people, service is the first choice for what to do after high school graduation. The prospect of leaving home for lands and towns unknown presents an attractive and exciting challenge on its own.

Military service means a keen sense of discipline is needed and expected. This new kind of lifestyle where one has little free choice and must follow the orders of those ranking above them is a great way to understand how business works, as many contemporary business organizations follow a top-down management and leadership style, where seniority and longevity mean ultimate promotion unless unusual circumstances enter.

The oath of enlistment and oath for commissioned officers into military service is simple, but profound:

“I, _____, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.”

This same simple oath is taken by all patriots who enter our armed forces. This oath is sincere and offered with no reservations and those who agree to it are expected to live up to it…defending our country against all enemies, being loyal to the United States above all other countries, and to support our country. In that oath, each service person is uniquely alike in their mission.

Especially as we are in a day and time where our friends and neighbors and allies are in the midst of war, some of which we are supporting with our personnel and funds, we remember the sacrifices that are being made in the name of military service to the United States of America. It is who we are and what we do as Americans and patriots.

This Veterans Day means something special to all who have served, and to their families, who with the service person support their choice for entering the service to our country. They are due our greatest thanks, our admiration, and our salutes when we remember their gifts to us in serving. When you see someone in a ball cap as a retired service person, or if you see someone in active duty uniform today, please take a moment to stop them and say, “Thank you for your service.” Without them, we would not be the great nation we are today. God bless all of you on this Veterans Day.