Welcome to December | FFFW 259

Welcome to December | FFFW 259

Welcome to December! I forgot to get our holiday counter going this year- but it’s never too late to start! I know the holidays move fast, but I hope you can take a few moments to slow down and enjoy some funeral fun.

DAYS TIL CHRISTMAS: 20
DAYS TIL NEW YEAR’S: 27
DAYS TIL THE BIG GAME: 65

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Director Bob Smith Shocks Funeral Home Staff by Wearing Snowflake Tie

Bob Smith took his funeral home by storm when he walked in this past Monday. Mild Oaks Memorial Chapel’s secretary was especially floored.

“I was shocked to see what he was wearing. I couldn’t believe it. He doesn’t even get this wild for casual Friday.”

Mr. Smith, who has worn the same shirt and slacks every day for 35 years, had something special up his sleeve – or rather, around his neck. Gone was the “trusty” black Perry Ellis tie his wife gave him in 1990. In its place: a simple red tie with snowflakes on it, fresh from the department store.

“I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks,” said Bob.

The team later learned it was Mrs. Smith’s idea. She thought a festive tie would be a good way to boost company morale and ring in the holiday season.

Bob was hesitant at first.

“I initially thought she was taking things a little far. Normally I just add little candy canes to the snack dish to welcome a Christmas atmosphere. But I think the tie did a lot. I might make this a yearly tradition.”

Though most of the staff was enthusiastic about the decorative twist, one team member, who has worked at the business longer than anyone and wishes to remain anonymous, had concerns.

“Frankly, I’m concerned. What happened to professionalism? It starts with the tie, but what if he enjoys it too much? What if next he wants to do a staff photo where we wear those goofy Santa hats? The community might think we’re fools. I don’t like this. I don’t like this one bit.”

The rest of the team ignored the rebuke. And it does seem that tying the snowflake knot may have unwrapped some new festivities in the office. Employees have reportedly been decorating their desks, adding peppermint coffee options to the break room, and are even in talks about an ugly Christmas sweater contest.

It appears a small Christmas miracle has taken place at Mild Oaks, and Bob Smith is to thank.

“I never thought people would see this side of me. I guess behind my dignity I’m still a wild boy. Who knows what I’ll do next. I think I could get used to change. Maybe I should post something on the World Wide Web. I heard that’s the new thing.”

Ask the Funeral Dude!

Question:
“Hey Funeral Dude, sthe women on our team want to do a pajama themed office Christmas party. None of us guys want to. How should we approach this?”

Answer:
Yes, this question goes beyond the funeral realm and into the age-old battle of men vs women. See, for some reason, women love wearing pajamas. Men on the other hand do not. Most of us don’t even own them other than our undergarments and a pair of sweatshorts we’ve had since college.

Also, men’s pajamas are flimsy and often reveal more about the human anatomy than is business appropriate, public appropriate, or even  friend group appropriate. So for all these reasons this pajama party has to be shut down immediately.

But there is another reason that trumps gender and biology. You are all adults, right? In the same way you wouldn’t have a tea party, or play whales and mermaids in the pool, you also shouldn’t be in your nightwear in public.

However, depending on your role at the funeral home- you may not have a say in the matter. So, it is up to you to have an out. Here are some ways you can get around this undignified experience

– wear a suit and say “oh, this is what I always wear.”
– claim religious exemption due to the reason of indecency (it’ll make everyone else really uncomfortable that they took part)
– wear the most unprofessional PJs you can come up with. Too short of shorts, too tight of a top, whatever you can stomach. Though you will have to live with it this one time, it almost certainly bans the whole activity moving forward.

You Otter Be Proud

Here’s some good news going on in the profession.

1. This Milford nonprofit helps families with high funeral costs
2. People Magazine Covers Funeral Profession Story
3. Fifth-generation funeral director Jeff Monreal helps families grieve, celebrate loved ones